So April stank...

Okay, I feel like this is a confession. I have not been doing well--at all. In fact, tonight is the first time I have logged on in almost a month. I felt like I was doing well and I was so happy at my success that I gave myself permission to "relax" a bit. And since then, it has truly been a downward spiral.

Right before Easter, I weighed in and discovered that I had lost 20 pounds since my start date. I was elated. But I rationalized and thought, I am not going to record this weight loss because I will probably gain a couple of pounds after Easter, so I will wait and see where I am. I left my weight loss at 15 lbs. on the computer and allowed myself some wiggle room.

So in one month, I have gained back not only the five pounds I was willing to let myself have, but an additional five more. I went from a weight loss of 20 to a weight loss of 10 in 30 days. I am so disappointed!

I have actually been avoiding logging on because I knew I was going to have to be honest with myself and my friends on SP.

So that's where I was...where am I now. I am trying to make the proper steps to correct this problem. I want to pick myself up and start again. I still have 10lbs weight loss on my side and I don't want to lose that, too. I'm not sure exactly how to do this because I was vegan when most of my weight loss happened and now that Lent is over, I'm not. So I have to find some new strategies in terms of good food choices. Also, this quarter (right after Easter as well) I started student teaching. I had a gym schedule that was working prior to working fulltime hours and now that I am working (in addition to my three classes and three kids) I don't even know when to go to the gym. I am so exhausted at the end of the day! I am praying that God will provide me with some extra energy and will power to create an effective schedule to go to the gym regularly and get back on track. And I can see the light...student teaching ends at the end of May.

This blog is a request for some prayers and advice. Please pray for me to get focused and to start again. I want to forgive myself and not have an all or nothing attitude. Obviously, that doesn't work. I am in a bit of a painful place and I know that pain is what triggers growth, so I am hoping that I will grow (not physically!) :)