I want the Confetti

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I know it has been a while since I've blogged. I don't know why there just seemed to be too much to deal with even here with you. In the almost 2 weeks since I've blogged there have been some great highs and some sucky lows.
I am always a bad new first person as I like to leave on a high note....
~Son's ODD is really getting rough these days and husband's lack of support and consistency doesn't help much
~Confronted husband about Love YOU text to girl at time had by none
~had to put our dog of 12 years down (truly the worst of all)
~eating has been my great way to handle most of this ~definitely not proud
emoticon~Em was chosen to sing first at Senior Vocal Recital~big deal to be first or last
emoticon~Meg won NJHS Historian by default as the girl didn't want to run against her AND two of her films won first and second in County Media Festival
emoticon~Em was awarded scholarship for her commitment to outreach youth ministry YEAH
emoticon~Garden is almost all in and looking great

Onto confetti
While I was reading Chris76 blog about biggest loser's show last night it sparked a thought in me. Imagine if we all had a team of people whose sole purpose was to show up every month or so and just celebrate the changes in our lives. For those of you who don't watch BL last night's show was the make-over where each contestant gets head to toe makeover and family members get to see the results.
this was something that two of the players were talking about as motivation. Being the person to stand at the end with the largest weight loss while confetti floats down all over you. I mean think about it have you ever had anything like that. do you know anyone who has experienced that?????????
Maybe I am feeling a little bit defeated and i'll own to that. While at Meg's award ceremony we saw her teacher from last year whom i haven't seen since Sept and I'll be honest i was expecting a comment on my 30+ weight didn't come. How self centered was I here the night was about the kids and celebrating their success and I was thinking of me.
I guess maybe because it is just that time fo seems every weekend there is some celebration occurring. As a parent it truly energizes you when you see your kids thrive with their successes. I guess that's where ww groups excel as they do celebrate your weight loss along with you announcing your achievements to a group and you get to feel that applause.
Where am I going with this....I don't know sounded better in my head earlier....sorry had to run and pull the sheets off the line as it started re-reading this I'm trying to get to where I thought this was going...
So how bad do you want the confetti??? Are you willing to sacrifice 4 months away from family and friends. Are you willing to let the world watch you sweat, cry and even puke? Are you willing to face the public scrutiny over every action and comment you make? Most of us aren't which is why we aren't on BL however we all want the confetti at the end.
So how am I going to get my confetti?? I don't know right now and that is honest. I could post eating and exercising plans but that does not ensure anything. I could buy all the cool dvds and equipment but money spent doesn't equal a changed body.
So where am I? I know i totally tanked these last 2 weeks and the fact I lost weight really didn't help. WHAT you're really if I behaved badly why should I be rewarded with a weight loss what good is that?? I feel like there's this bill out there that is coming due and oh man it aint gonna be pretty.
Do I still want confetti? I would love to have a celebration of my lifestyle change....the health that I've achieved...the self-worth realization that comes with both of those....Yes I do want the confetti.
I just need to realize that this commitment is a full time requirement not something I can pick up and put down whenever I feel like it

So no confetti for now.....that's ok I don't need that mess in my house anyway emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Kudos to you for getting through the past two weeks. You have had had a lot going on in your life. Keep going strong.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4061 days ago
  • TML-2012
    Hi, I am sorry to here about the last two weeks... That is really tough. Right now I am not a good one to give advice. I seem to be stuck in a holding pattern. I am so crazy busy that life seems to be a blur. I know what you mean about logging, fancy equipment, etc. I don't think there is a magic something that will make the weight come off. I have just been holding my own ... one step at a time. Right now I am traveling with work and all the food, munchies, etc are essentially open access and this combined with stress .... is a bad combo. Last week where I was at we had a stocked fridge with all sorts of soda and munchies, they brought in food, and we ate out. So far on the trips (after the first one where I went sort of food crazy) I am back to my original spark starting weight and am on the verge of losing a pound. This is not the 10 pound loss a month I wanted. So what I am doing is taking it one small step at a time. When ever eat I plan that food moment to be healthy and in my overall calorie total. Then each day I move for 30 min at least doing something. We can do this and yes I would love the confetti too. I would settle for being the person on biggest loser that stands next to the person with the confetti but is healthy and strong.
    4061 days ago
    You are a tough woman to go through all of that crap in the past 2 weeks! I am so, SO sorry. Ugh. The hard thing about this weightloss journey is that life continues to play out around us but we have to try and avoid turning to food for comfort even when bad things happen. That is quite a challenege!!!

    BTW, I love Biggest Loser and I want the confetti, too! hehe
    4065 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6755914
    I am celebrating you and your new lifestyle, and your weightloss today. I am dedicating my short run (always the most fun) to you. It is a run of celebration, an I will put a skip in there every so often.
    Grace is when we get what we don't deserve- there is no sword over your head added to that. You are just being carried..
    Bless you today
    4066 days ago
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