Monday, May 03, 2010
Update on the 5K...ran it in 31 min. Was aiming for 30 so I'm bummed but it was my 1st one and at least I can say I ran the whole thing!
I have just been in a funk lately. My work situation has been crappy for the past 4-5 months and I ended up getting transferred to another (local) building...but you know when work sucks how it effects your whole mood...that is what's happening. When I have a bad day I'm just like @#$% it and I want to relax, not go kill it at then gym....unfortunately. When I do go I have been phoning it in. I feel like it should be helping me destress but it doesn't. I keep thinking of all the things I could/should be doing instead.
Couple that with the fact that I am a schedule FREAK and the gym (since fall) has cancelled 430 classes that I used to go to straight from work. I was on a roll w/ my attendance and the classes used to push me and it was a guaranteed hr workout! Well now I still go @ 430 but I do my own thing (w/ a friend) and it's just not as motivating, but at least I'm THERE....whereas if I go home and try to make the 530 class then I don't want to go back out...I know...excuse, but I gotta do what gets me there which is 430.
I keep coming back to why am I this way? (Even in previous blogs.) And I think it's bc I am letting people talk me into complacency. Example: Everyone says I look fine the way I am and that I am NUTS for wanting to look better/not eat a brownie/work out on Thanksgiving (enter holiday here). So I say maybe they're right...and looks where it has gotten me :P Unhappy w/ myself. I just wish I could STAY CONSISTENT. That has ALWAYS been my problem. Something always happens to derail me: injury, illness, schedule changes, busy life...and then it's so hard to get back on track. That's where I am now...trying to get back on track!
I'm sorry for constantly complaining about my situation and not changing it. I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE. I am going to try to make a schedule tonight that I can STICK WITH. Any tough love or motivation is appreciated ;)