MSNIKE

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FAT pics...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

So I've finally decided to go ahead and get some of my fat pictures (before, after and definitely more before) posted on my spark page. I feel a little bit nauseated even thinking about it as I'm very embarrassed and quite disgusted with how I currently look. I can't believe how much I've let myself go. I don't even look like the same person anymore! It's crazy because I don't think I truly see how much weight I've gained until I see a picture, or when I'm walking past a window and see my reflection! That's when reality hits! I've really put on some serious weight in a short amount of time after my dad died 5/19/07. (You see 2007 was a very bad year! We lost a close friend of the family in March, my dad in May, my aunt in July and my grandma in Oct....I had also dropped out of school because I couldn't do it...I was really depressed!) It's been such a struggle and I know that's part of the reason. When I moved to Portland in Nov. '06 I weighed 240lbs. and planned to continue to lose more weight. When I moved back to my hometown May '08 I weighed 316lbs...you do the math. That was some serious emotional eating after what felt like part of me had died inside. (Sorry I'm getting off track a bit!) At this point I still weigh just over 300lbs. I'm hoping that having my pictures posted will encourage myself to keep at it! This is going to be a long process but it's what I need and what I have to do....no ifs ands or buts about it. It's my time...


Any comments, thoughts or suggestions are welcome! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ME_HERE_NOW
    i know totally what you mean, i never saw when i got bigger and now i am making a real effort to try and see that i am getting smaller. how can our brains be so messed up? i think we all have that a-ha moment, we see a pic and finally SEE the real, true us. but it's not the real true us the moment we decide to make a change. sometimes i think things need to get so out of hand before we can truly take control of them, permanently. now is the time to release those feelings about the old you and take stock of the new you, how far you have come already and how you are going to keep pushing the positive healthy lifestyle change into your world.

    also want to thank you for your support and encouragement on my activity feed!
    4063 days ago
  • PRETTYBLKGYRL
    i'm loving your bravery - it took me OVER 2 years of sparking before I could get up the nerve to take or even post ANY type of full body pic *sigh*

    I can't wait for your progress pics girlie emoticon
    4073 days ago
  • DASANI4ME
    Good for you for even thinking about it; I can't even go there!
    Best of luck to you!

    emoticon
    4074 days ago
  • JACKIEHOYLE
    I actually did the same thing today, but I couldn't put them on my page. I just hate the way I look. Maybe after I lose some weight.
    4074 days ago
  • SPARKLING-REET
    I know what you mean about the emotional eating. Me & my fiance started packing on the lbs 3 years ago when his dad was killed in a car accident. My weight was pretty stable until my grandma died in March '09, 3 days before my birthday. August '09, my fiance lost his grandma & 2 weeks later his grandpa. I gained 28 lbs in 9 mos & I'm only 4'11"!! 2009 was quite a stressful year! Death is a difficult & everyone has different ways to cope. Junk food was mine. I wasn't ready to make the change until Feb this year.

    You can do this. It is not always going to be easy, but you have to remember that your dad would want you to be happy with yourself. You seem like you are on the right path. Don't get discouraged! Just focus on the positive and change will come. Best of luck!

    emoticon
    4074 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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