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I am going to do it, I don't care what I say!!!

Friday, April 16, 2010

I am sitting here about to commit to something that inside my brain is a BIG DEAL. I'm not sure it really is a big deal, but it feels like a big deal...

Yesterday, I was thinking about the fact that after a couple of really good days of eating, on Wednesday night I found myself doing that horrible mindless nighttime eating. And the worst part of it was that I was upstairs already, had no great need to come back downstairs, and could and should have simply stayed up there. But I came down, and it was almost like I was on a mission to eat. Yet, I was not hungry, I had had a late dinner, I had a little sweet something..I was completely satisfied. I was, however, aggravated at my son, who was doing his job and challenging me, but that's not all that unusual an occurrence, so not out of the norm. So down I came, and what started with a handful of whole grain cheese its ended with a handful of jelly beans and a couple of cookies.. Given the eating day I had had, honestly, even with those items I probably was close to the upper edge of my calorie range, but that's not the point..it was junky, non-nutritional food I was eating for no reason that has anything to do with why you should eat.

I am beyond beating myself up for these kinds of days, but I am not beyond trying to figure out the hows and whys and how to stops... So yesterday afternoon, while waiting for DS to come out of school, I was sitting in my car, reading my The Spark (yes, I'm still reading it). I began writing down some goals as a result of my reading, and I then began just writing.. I can truthfully say I don't know how or why the thought of making my food journal public came into my brain, but I was simply amazed at my internal reaction: "NO!!!" my little voice shouted. My logical voice said, "why not?" My inner voice said "I don't know! But NO!!" My logical voice said, and continues to say: "hmmmmm, what is this about??"

Well, from reading The Spark and from all my surfing around on SP, one of the things I have learned is that moving forward is about moving from the comfort zone of our lives to the uncomfortable, doing things that are new and good for us. I completely agree with that philosophy. So, even though I don't know exactly why my inner me is not too happy about this, I do know it will be made uncomfortable by doing it.

I also know, of course, it's about public accountability. It's about putting it out there. Not, mind you, that I don't readily talk about when I've taken the plunge off the cliff of good eating, I do..yet..this seems different. Then, my GonnaBFitMoms challenge this week included using the nutrition tracker, and it made perfect sense that this is the time to do it.

So I pledge to use the tracker, starting today. And to make it public. Let's see....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You go girl! I wish I was that brave! HAHAHAHA!
    3877 days ago
    Accountability is the key for sure. Putting it out there will make you more honest for sure, especially if you question why you may not be losing.

    3882 days ago
    I am writing this to you after eating 3 cookies for no reason at all. I'm not even agrevated at the moment, just bored I guess. So I'm off to join you in tracker land. Sometimes it's a little easier to take the plunge together. So just remember I'll be there with you.
    3883 days ago
    You can do it!! We all have moments like that where you just feel like eating and eating even though you aren't hungry. The good thing is that you recognize and acknowledge it and just move on! Good luck with this challenge!
    3883 days ago
  • JOANN562
    Oh Tina,

    You are right that the tracker being a hard pill to swallow. But, I believe it does help, A LOT!

    When I strayed from SP I thought I had my eating under control. But I gained. When I forced myself to track again; and be 100% honest with it, I started to lose again.

    It's funny how we fight with ourselves on things that we know we need to do. You're right though. It is just pushing ourselves out of that comfort zone.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3883 days ago
    Ok I heard that emoticon
    3883 days ago
    Geez Tina,

    Between you and Lynn, you always give me something to think about and it amazes me. Good for you for not beating yourself up, we all know that gets us nowhere.

    I am proud of you and I know that taking this step from your comfort zone will be difficult, but we will be right there beside you!

    Love ya,

    3883 days ago
    I've been tracking more lately, and it's quite eye-opening. I haven't made mine public, though. Probably for the same reasons you've mentioned. You've definitely given me something to think about.
    3883 days ago
    Wow girl, you have it all wrapped up. You would make a statement, and while I was thinking what I would say if were talking, I'd read down and you said the same. Through every point and paragraph.

    This may be your next big step.

    I was never much for Cliff jumping myself, but I did eat an entire (minus the two I gave to Abby) sleeve of Mint GS cookies last night at about 10:15pm so I may be right behind you in the using of the tracker beyond this week's challenge for a while again.

    You continue to impress me!!!
    3883 days ago
  • HEIDE69
    emoticon You can do it!
    3883 days ago
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