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For all you missionaries out there!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Taken from Facebook and copied here for your laughter!


If you tell the airline's international check-in desk the name of the capital city that is your destination, and they've never heard of it... you might be a missionary.

If you keep anti-malarial pills in your laptop case at all times... you might be a missionary.

If your guard won't eat gummy bears because he thinks they're bear meat... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever updated Facebook from your mobile phone while waiting for a lion to stop circling your stuck 4WD truck... you might be a missionary.

If the UN has ever come through and swept your yard for left-over landmines six weeks AFTER you moved in... you might be a missionary.

If "Highway One" is a two-lane road that is sometimes even paved... you might be a missionary.

If there is no "Highway Two"... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever paid $1000/month for 56Kbs Internet service... you might be a missionary.

If Adventure Tourism firms charge $10K for a weeklong expedition to the area you live in... you might be a missionary.

If your laptop has ever fallen apart because of UV damage... you might be a missionary.

If you have better mobile phone service than Spencer County, Kentucky... you might be a missionary.

If mobile phones outnumber lightbulbs in the country where you live... you might be a missionary.

If you realize that ants - not humans - are the dominant life form on planet Earth... you might be a missionary.

If a doctor has ever looked at your lab report and muttered, "Hmmm... I think I read about this in med school."... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever eaten real Klingon Gagh... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever had best friends who don't share a common language with you... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever been people-watching 12,000 miles from where you grew up, and seen someone wearing a T-shirt with your high-school football team printed on it... you might be a missionary.

If your kids know "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."... you might be a missionary.

If your Sunday morning sermon is regularly translated into three other languages so that everyone can understand it... you might be a missionary.

If you have eight years of post-high-school education, work 60 hours a week, and still make less than minimum wage... you might be a missionary.

If you have to get special permission from the State Department to visit the country you're living in... you might be a missionary.

If your backyard has been featured in National Geographic... you might be a missionary.

If a McDonalds Happy Meal has more calories than your next-door-neighbor's family eats in a week... you might be a missionary.

If the word for "heaven" in your people's language sounds suspiciously like the word for "America"... you might be a missionary.

If there are more languages in the country you live in than there are states in the United States... you might be a missionary.

If the people are very proud that they had an election... once... you might be a missionary.

If your neighbor's feet are tougher than your REI-brand hiking boots... you might be a missionary.

If the airline fumigates the plane before takeoff... you might be a missionary.

If the old ladies laugh at you because you chop firewood like a girl... you might be a missionary.

If people 30 years your senior defer to you simply because your skin is a different color than theirs... you might be a missionary.

If buying groceries involves a two hour plane flight... you might be a missionary.

If the village is built on a 45 degree slope so that the only flat ground for thirty kilometers can be used for a soccer field... you might be a missionary.

If your best friend lives on another continent... you might be a missionary.

If Skype changed your life... you might be a missionary.

If the last time it rained, it lasted six months... you might be a missionary.

If the last time it rained was six months ago... you might be a missionary.

If your yellow vaccination booklet is multiple volumes... you might be a missionary.

If the country is one of the world's ten poorest, and its President is one of the world's ten richest people... you might be a missionary.

If it takes a plastic garbage bag full of money to fill your vehicle's gasoline tank... you might be a missionary.

If you always keep a couple fresh loaves of bread in the car for the police... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever gotten an evacuation notice by text message or IM... you might be a missionary.

If going to the bathroom at night involves getting your shoes on and finding a flashlight... you might be a missionary.

If Lehman's is your favorite store, and you aren't Amish... you might be a missionary.

If a trip to the doctor only costs $5, but involves a two day hike... you might be a missionary.

If people have ever tried to give you a bag of money to leave the village you live in and come bring the Word of God to their village, too... you might be a missionary.

If they've ever served you what you **knew** was their only food for dinner... you might be a missionary.

If people you've never met pray for you every day... you might be a missionary.

If your house catches on fire, and before it has burned to the ground, people on four continents are praying for you... you might be a missionary.

If you've ever told the story of Christmas to a village which has never even heard of Jesus... you might be a missionary.

Anyone got any more?

[The following are the responses...some are just as funny!]

If you go to the doctor and the nurse has to ask you how to spell half your medical history...

If the airline doesn't believe you paid your fee because the receipt is handwritten AND in a currency not traded internationally...

If you've ever watched you favorite sports team through Skype with the webcam pointed at the TV...

If the largest bill in common circulation is roughly equivalent to one U.S. dollar... you might be a missionary.

If your parishioners walk four hours, uphill, to go to church... you might be a missionary.

If your most common excuse for irrational behavior is "I just had a mefloquine moment".....

If you cry every time you enter a Walmart...

If you've ever lost your sandal in the community squatty potty......... See More

If you've ever been refered to as "Hey, Mee-ster".........

If you've ridden in a vehicle the size of a Toyota Yaris with two or three dozen other people.......

If you've been asked to preach "on the spot" in the middle of a service and you didn't even know the language.......

If your kids' mouths start drooling when they see the wild boar exhibit at the zoo

if you ever had to tell your kids they coudln't make ice cream for their birthday because you just got back from your tri-annual 8-hour shopping trip and the kerosene freezer is full.

if you ever had to change the gas bottle to the stove in the middle of baking a cake.
4 hours ago.

If you've ever lived in a community where the daily attraction iis you!

There were lots more but this is getting VERY long...

Do any of you have any to add?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SENKYOUSHI
    This is great!!!
    3765 days ago
  • SENKYOUSHI
    This is great!!!
    3765 days ago
  • JODIRICHARDS
    This is great! I can relate to way to many! The "hey, Mee-ster" got me here is my modification.

    If the most English you hear in a day outside your home is: "Hello, mister, I love you!" You might be a missionary.

    Do others get that as a common English phrase?
    3765 days ago
  • GIRLINBRAZIL
    Love it and some I'd never thought of!!!
    3765 days ago
  • CAROLYN0107
    emoticon

    The best list I've seen. Thanks for sharing. The one I had to laugh at because it pertained to me was.......

    If you've ever lost your sandal in the community squatty potty.........

    emoticon
    3766 days ago
  • HOLLY_ROSE3
    Thanks so much Michelle! That's too cool!
    3766 days ago
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