Letting myself off the hook (stream of conciousness)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged and I have to get some things off my chest...

First off, I do not like to fail and I also tend to be over ambitious at times. I am very mad at myself because last week I think I over set my goals and had trouble reaching them. Now, I am struggling with a decision to keep pushing forward and be miserable or just go back and reduce the goals to a more reasonable level and I am not happy about that bc I feel like I am failing. either way.

I think I should reduce my weekly exercise goal from 3500 calories burned each week (in exercise) to 3250. The month prior it was 3000. The jump from 3000 to 3500 was just too high. This week, I got too tired and too hungry and then had several bad days where I ate things I should not have eaten (self loathing & anger is starting to kick in). I also feel like I am burning out and THAT is NOT good!!!

DEEP BREATH...(self talk)...OK, what if I SLOWED down my goal setting to something more attainable so I can experience success instead of failure? HMMM, would people think I was being a cry-baby and not giving it my all, or would they think I was smart and clever for setting myself up for success and doing things gradually so long term healthy habits are set in place for a LIFETIME of good health? (More self talk)...WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF??!!

So, I am slowing down a bit as I believe I have gotten ahead of myself.

My NEW Short Term exercise goals are:

Exercise to burn 3250 calories per week:
Complete the Couch to 5K program in 12 weeks or less (doing this 3x a week)
Do 10 minutes of Pilates 3x a week (on Couch to 5K training days)
Continue my "gentle/low impact" WATP DVDs 4 days a week

DEEP BREATH - whew!! I feel better just getting it out there! After all, slow and steady wins the race, right?

Keep on Sparking!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You and I have got a lot in common, I think. And yes, I'm commenting on a three month old blog, but so what.

    I'm a perfectionist too. And I'm ridiculously competitive. I will avoid doing things altogether rather than fail at them. And therein lies a huge danger. I can't look at this from my usual success/failure perspective. This isn't a task to be mastered. It's simply a new way of living that will keep me around longer. And whatever mistakes I've made, whatever mistakes YOU'VE made, we have not failed at life.

    These little mindset shifts are a bitch to attain, but they bring some huge rewards. ;-)
    3859 days ago
    Girl you are doing soo awesome!! You have only been at this a few months..I have been doing this for almost 16 months and I JUST got up to 2500 calories a week! So you are totally pushing yourself (which is good) but you can relax a little! It took me almost 12 months to realize that you do have to eat and not OVER exercise too! If you are stuck just change it up! You got this!!! And we are gonna be running a 5k :) :) :)
    3942 days ago
    you're are doing a fabulous job! i am so proud of you for being able to re-assess when you know it is necessary for long-term success.

    it's a marathon, not a sprint...

    keep going Michelle!!!!
    3942 days ago
    Absolutely good self talk...you need to talk to yourself more often and share...I got alot out of it, too! This will be a much better week for you. I'm going right now to look up from couch to 5k sounds very interesting!
    3944 days ago
    For what it's worth, I think you're "smart and clever"!

    We can't change what we don't acknowledge.

    Good job on recognizing that there was a problem, deciding what kind of adjustment had the best chance of fixing that problem, and applying skilful self-talk to arrest any tendency to beat yourself up for needing to adjust.


    3944 days ago
    I think it's great that you went back and downsized in your goals. This IS a lifestyle change, not a short term fix so setting yourself up for failure isn't a good thing, then you get frustrated and quit. Start small and add to the list, always with success in mind as to not set your standards too high, but just right :)

    Hope all this makes sense as I tend to just ramble. NO BURN OUTS ALLOWED, only nice progress :)
    3944 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/10/2010 11:10:14 AM
    You worry too much. Just do what you can. Appreciate how far you've come in so short of a time. What happens if you reach your goal a week later? SERIOUSLY. Nothing. You get there just the same. I gained 2 lbs in the last couple weeks. I am still hovering right at my projected goal but not quite where I wanted to be. BUT I am still weighing less than I did at any point in the last 2 years. Take it easy on yourself. We love you.
    3944 days ago
    You sound as frustrated as the rest of us get. I think it's all part of the process! In looking at your new short term goals, they still look pretty aggressive!! This is a long term change....it will take time and patience. Be kind to yourself knowing that you're giving 100%.

    Hang in there!

    3944 days ago
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    3944 days ago
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