Round and Rounder!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I have been on this road before....the one where I feel so uncomfortable and ashamed of myself my habits and excuses that I just shut down and EAT!! Why? Why does this cycle of gaining weight make me go straight for what is causing the problem? I know I need to exercise and stop eating crap but I don't....WHY?
I pride myself on being a strong outspoken person who will not be pushed aside. Yet I sit here day by day allowing my bad habits to control every move I make and thought I have. Even as I type this with tears in my eyes all i can think of is a effn' cinnamon roll!! WHY?! I swear I feel like I am obsessed with food....it's like crack!! I had a real slap in the face this morning when I decided to take a look at all of my "debit" purchases for the month that were just for food!! $233.33 ARE YOU EFFN' KIDDING ME!?!?!? Just on FOOD!!! Food I DON'T NEED. Fast greasy food that fills no void or purpose!!! Granted I bought food for others in many of those purchases but that is beside the point!! The only reason I ever buy food for anyone else is SO I CAN HAVE SOMETHING with out eating alone!! OMG I can't believe I just said that!!! WHERE IS THAT DAMN CINNAMON ROLL!! ***SLAP***
With that said I am setting a GOAL! I am going to save $233 this month by not eating out AT ALL!! I am going to keep a running tally of EVERYTHING I spend!!! Next month I should have the $233 saved and with that I am going to join a gym!! I should be able to pay the fee every month just with the money I would have spent on CRAP!!!