Made fun of for my weight today...
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
So for those who have any significant weight to lose, I'm sure we've all had those times where someone has made fun of us. This seems to happen to me a lot. Usually it's people yelling things to me from cars as I walk down a street. It's been happening to me since I was young, probably around 10, and it hasn't gotten any less painful despite how often it seems to happen.
Well, today's incident happened as I walked to the store to get laundry detergent. As I was walking out, this man in what looked like his late forties looked at me and said "Very fat!"
It hurts so much. Who is he to criticize me? How dare he? I found out today that I lost 16.5 pounds. I've been working so hard, and here comes this man who thinks he can just say anything to me, like I'm less than human, like I'm a dog or trash that he can judge and discard.
Ironically, this was not the first time this particular man has said this to me! He must live in my area, because he's made a hurtful remark about my weight on the same street I was on (it's a popular street near my college campus). So this time, I was going to stand up for myself!! How dare he!
I almost let it go, but then I turned to him and said, "HEY! You're a jerk!" and he just said, "you need to lose..." and walked in the store. It took all my willpower not to follow him and criticize him, shame him for all of his bad life decisions. Do you smoke? Do drugs? Drink? Gamble? Because I'm going to very publicly, very painfully shame you for YOUR bad decisions. Stupid, stupid, small man.
I'm NOT going to let it affect me. I'm losing weight. I'm healthier than I've been in a very long time. I'm doing my best, and unfortunately outer appearance isn't necessarily a direct reflection of inner discipline, but soon it will be. In the meantime, I just need to FORGIVE and understand that people have no idea what I'm going through.