PAULAMARIEF

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Picture of Day after Easter Blob and Blog!

Monday, April 05, 2010

It's been building up, but I really felt the repercussions of eating too many sweets and whites (regular bread, pasta, etc.) yesterday. While looking for what to wear for Easter (where I would see a lot of people) the pile of clothes grew on my bed. Hmm maybe heals would make me feel taller and thinner, lol. It was in the mid 70's and I had pants, shorts, skirts all out and nothing made me happy. Yes the waists were snug and my eating disorder thoughts started getting the best of me...no food today, or tomorrow, I need to feel empty. So Frank saw the time and yelled upstairs, "hey we're going to be late". I said I'm feeling frumpy. He said what's frumpy? I said it's my nice way of saying what I shouldn't say "I am fat". He then proceeded to tell me, "no you're not, you look great", blah blah blah. So I end up wearing something that was in my opinion ewww. I get to my first brunch and had a great time, but no food. At the end of my visit my sister's friend, who has the same past with ED as me, talked to me and I was able to snap out of my unreasonable plans for the day of no eating. She looks amazing and is doing it the right way. So I felt better. We've both been in "recovery" for many years and nothing is worth that h@ll again.

Thanks for reading guys. I need to blog more, especially during this time. I hope anyone with similar thoughts realizes it's okay to have them, but not to act on them. Even after 20 years, lots of counseling, hospitalization, education on nutrition and personal training this ugly problem rears its head at times.

Today I will do my two week South Beach Phase One. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it really makes me feel great. I've done this two other times and I am able knock out the bad foods during this time and then maintain my good eating habits after. The two weeks are hard, but adding good carbs back after is doable for me and my cholesterol appreciates it.

I have a table of candy in front of me and a bunny cake in the kitchen...this could equal grumpy while I detox from sugar!

Hugs Spark Friends,

Paula
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD3375540
    Many of us struggle w/ addictions, eating disorders, etc. I use to be a diet pill junkie. Whatever would help me "lose weight". I got over that and now I am fighting my sugar addiction. It takes quite a bit of work to talk yourself (myself!) into not eating the evil white stuff, but I feel so much better now that I have been "clean" for 3 full months! Just take one day at a time!
    emoticon
    3774 days ago
  • MOMSLIM
    I know you can do it - No to sugar and Yes to food.
    3774 days ago
  • GEORGIEGIRL65
    Hey there, So happy to hear that you snap yourself out of that thinking pattern.
    Yes it would be easy to get into that " i am not eating" thought of mind especially when pants are a bit snug. Screw it, enjoy your life, eat healthy and remember your husband, child and everyone here thinks you are great just the way you are:)

    Now put down that chocolate bunny and go clean the house -lol emoticon


    Karen in Canada
    emoticon
    3774 days ago
  • 5FRUITSNVEGGIES
    frist of all, it's so great to hear from you!

    second of all, i know those eating disorder thoughts all too well, and i know how crippling they can be......i can't decide whether my thoughts yesterday were eating disorder or control.....but i had to catch myself and able to turn things around quickly.....

    please blog more!
    3775 days ago
  • BIKERCHICK74
    :)
    3775 days ago
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