Picture of Day after Easter Blob and Blog!
Monday, April 05, 2010
It's been building up, but I really felt the repercussions of eating too many sweets and whites (regular bread, pasta, etc.) yesterday. While looking for what to wear for Easter (where I would see a lot of people) the pile of clothes grew on my bed. Hmm maybe heals would make me feel taller and thinner, lol. It was in the mid 70's and I had pants, shorts, skirts all out and nothing made me happy. Yes the waists were snug and my eating disorder thoughts started getting the best of me...no food today, or tomorrow, I need to feel empty. So Frank saw the time and yelled upstairs, "hey we're going to be late". I said I'm feeling frumpy. He said what's frumpy? I said it's my nice way of saying what I shouldn't say "I am fat". He then proceeded to tell me, "no you're not, you look great", blah blah blah. So I end up wearing something that was in my opinion ewww. I get to my first brunch and had a great time, but no food. At the end of my visit my sister's friend, who has the same past with ED as me, talked to me and I was able to snap out of my unreasonable plans for the day of no eating. She looks amazing and is doing it the right way. So I felt better. We've both been in "recovery" for many years and nothing is worth that h@ll again.
Thanks for reading guys. I need to blog more, especially during this time. I hope anyone with similar thoughts realizes it's okay to have them, but not to act on them. Even after 20 years, lots of counseling, hospitalization, education on nutrition and personal training this ugly problem rears its head at times.
Today I will do my two week South Beach Phase One. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it really makes me feel great. I've done this two other times and I am able knock out the bad foods during this time and then maintain my good eating habits after. The two weeks are hard, but adding good carbs back after is doable for me and my cholesterol appreciates it.
I have a table of candy in front of me and a bunny cake in the kitchen...this could equal grumpy while I detox from sugar!
Hugs Spark Friends,