A Weird Kind of Fear

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The fact, that I live out in nowhere land, I rarely see people during the week and only a little more than a chance through the weekends...Oh, I don't mind, I have my gardens, my quilting, my cross stitching and other needlework...I have the mountain behind me and a river in front of me...But every couple of months, I end up going out of town either to WA State to visit my children/grandchildren or to Kalispell to visit my MIL...

On Wednesday, my MIL is having surgery and her sister will be with her until Friday night and yes, you guessed it, I'll be taking over for a couple of days so that my husband's aunt can come back to town to go to her own church for Easter..Plus it is Easter and we are spending it with his mom...

I was sitting her tonight and thinking about this and all of a sudden, my stomach got some of those butterflies one has just before they take a flight...I can't believe it but honestly, no one has seen me since I've lost 57 lbs...I only have 47 more to go so I've lost over half of my weight and for the first time in months, I'm going to be seen..

What if they don't notice? I know that sounds crazy but I don't take pictures and since I see myself everyday in the mirror, I don't see a difference...What if there isn't a noticeable difference...On top of everything I haven't told anyone about my getting healthy...I don't know why, maybe fear of failure but now I'm walking right into a situation that will break my heart if no one notices...

I know this is a silly fear but I've felt good this whole duration and all of a sudden those fuzzy little butterflies are having a heyday!! Good thing I love butterflies, however, I would prefer for them to be in my herb garden..

I guess I'll know in a few days if all of this hard work is paying off!!
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  • RONIE11
    Well let me tell you what happened to me. I had lost 45 pounds and my mother - in- law had a terrible fall, She was in the hospital and everyone in the family was around. I walked in and the whole time I was going over to the hospital (about 3 hours drive) I was torn between "is anyone going to notice me " and my concern for her.. She's in he mid 90's and this was 2 years ago.. Well..... Not 1 person said a word I felt so bad, and then a few weeks later I started getting comments. It wasn't that they didn't notice ME it was the poor frail lady in the hospital bed that everyone was focused on, and rightly so. So if no one says anything it isn't that they don't notice its because they are more concerned for her. Keep your chin up and know that someone will say something then everyone will have nice comments for you too.
    3281 days ago
    Ooh, they will notice... In fact, they may not even know who you are untill you say something! That's how much they will notice!
    How do your clothes fit that you wore 57 pounds ago?

    That should cheer you up! IT's going to be a great time!
    3282 days ago
    Ohh, they are SO going to notice! You are seeing how much you still have to go, but they are going to be seeing a butterfly emerging from a cocoon!

    But you know what? Even if they don't, it doesn't matter! You're not losing it for THEM! Your success is a great accomplishment whether they recognize it or not! You've already had some wonderful successes, and they just shouldn't have the power to rob you of your joy.... they are bystanders, and you're the one actually in the battle!

    (they will have to be half blind to NOT notice, but remember that some people just DO NOT remark on personal appearance EVER,... AT ALL! All the etiquette books teach that remarking on a person's weight is exceedingly rude!)

    Just in case, you might want to practice what you would like to say when they ask, ... IF they ask.

    This is going to be good. (In fact, it's all good. Congratulations on your little 'secret".)
    3282 days ago
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