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Turning A Moment of Depression Into Exhilaration

Friday, March 26, 2010

So I was feeling a little blue. I didn't lose anything this week, although I am not shocked because I lost so much (almost 4 lbs) last week. But it also gets hard when things get difficult financially, even though I know this is the real last month that will be like this with the new job starting next month. Still, I had some unexpected costs come my way this month that drained me. Down to the last few dollars, that ever makes me feel good. I ration everything at this point just waiting for next week. Anyhow, I needed to pick myself up. I wasn't hungry, but I realized I could eat whatever. But why? Nope, I decided. There is gas in the car, the cat needs food with some of that money and I am going to wander around my little town until I feel better. ;)

Near the grocery store is a JC Penney. It is actually next door. ;) How convenient. It doesn't matter that I don't have any money, because I know that is changing for good, and I will have plenty soon enough. Life will stop being so hard. So I push through the doors and head to the "fun size" section. It seems to have shrunk and has been pushed over a bit to make room for more dresses. Not much of a selection today. They seem to be inundated with unattractive matronly Easter dresses. Yuck! Still I look through the bit of options and pull every pair of capris, jeans and shorts in a 6P. The test...random items, random brands.

I march into the dressing room. Okay, I think, if this doesn't work, I am going to have to go home and go to bed. I take some jeans off the hanger. I hold them up. I am wearing my size 10s I have shrunk a few times, and they are still big. Granted I can wear the jeans I stashed that are a size 6, but for some reason, I always wonder if I have imagined it all. lol I unzip them and slip them on. Well, they didn't stop at my calves, which was a good sign. All the way up, and a rush comes over me as they button and zip. I turn and survey in the mirror. For the first time ever I walk out of the tiny room and look at the BIG mirror. (I was usually too embarrassed with myself to bother with that. Dressing rooms were always a timed, rush exercise for the most part.) I squint my eyes and try to see if I can see what everyone else sees when they see me. Not really, but I see the tag, and it says 6. A huge smile spreads and I sort of bounce back into the room.

I feel like a junkie, and need another hit. Okay I have never done heroin (I know way too much about it, but that's another story), but I am thinking that this is my heroin. Off go the jeans. On goes the capris and then more items. Off, on, off, on...this continues and my mood really picks up. Total euphoria! It didn't even matter that I didn't like the way some things looked or the cut. It didn't matter that none of it could come home with me. I could put them all on and they all fit! I didn't even mind the bad lighting or the fact that the mirrors always seem oddly tilted. lol

Forget confessions of a shopaholic...they need a new word for my new hobby. Try-aholic? I don't know what to call it, but that was better than any food, more comforting than anything else I can think of. It is my new mood buster!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    LOL I think that will be my thing to do too because when this weight does come off because it WILL my husband is so going to put a stop on me shopping when I can go into any store and buy cute clothes lol
    3232 days ago

    I do like all this it is very inspiring, i never had time to
    come here and read these pass few month , with my grandsons
    it keep me bussy.

    But today i will read all of them and i will say li seraphen a
    size 6 is wonderful you did so good you are really an amazing
    person. emoticon emoticon
    3263 days ago
  • no profile photo ALICEART2010
    Cute blog.
    3266 days ago
    Good for you, for having fun with it (and ushering out the blues with a healthy "addiction"). ;)

    Congrats on the size 6!
    3281 days ago
    WAY TO GO!!!! I'd be flying high, too, with the exhilaration of knowing I'm smaller than I'd originally though!!!! emoticon
    3282 days ago
    A size 6?!?! Wow, that is a mood booster! Sorry the scale didn't go down for you this week, but like you said last week was huge for you. You know you are doing the right things so very very soon you are going to be in the 150's. Look how far you've come, you're amazing.
    3282 days ago
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