Gotta stop poppin' maltballs & get back to moving toward healthier life
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I'm sluggish, I'm popping maltballs like medication to manage stress. I'm searching the fridge for whatever will satisfy my current craving - salty, sweet, carbs...I think of exercising - on occassion, but that's as far as it goes. It's not even on my list these days. I had it on my lists for many weeks, and it was always a very low priority. My lists are so long. It's 8 AM and I already have over 20 items on todays list. And there are some big items on that list. We've just managed our way through the roughest part of a tough emotional storm of stressors, but we are barely past it. We are nowhere near out of it. We resorted to the old standby emotional eating. In between we've managed to keep preparing healthy meals with lots of whole grains and produce, but those side trips rummaging for junk has cost us. It would have cost us more if we went as far as topramen type meals. It really cost us to drop exercise - it dropped a really important coping mechanism. Even a short walk would help me manage stress better. With nothing, stress has been nailing me. Physical ailments are popping up, I'm zapped of energy, I feel 10 years older, I look 10 years older, I'm not accomplishing nearly as much, I can't think straight and worst of all my mood is diving - robbing me of the desire to even try. I got really down there, further down than I've been in years. Scarey hopeless from being overwhelmed. It was short bouts, not long sustained periods, but it's really a wake up call. I've got to get back to moving toward a healthier life. If I even START moving, I feel better. I gotta move. A walk. A bit of stretching. Some dancing, even if I just sway. Gotta get that get up and go music pumping. Oh yeah, I should pump a little iron also. Now that's all good and fine..I should...but now I've
GOTTA DO IT!!.
Why do we moms put ourselves last????
I've had at least 7 interruptions since I started this blog, my 15 year old and my 6 year old - and I have a babysitter! He's feeding the baby in the livingroom! Somehow I have to reprogram myself to make myself a priority. It's a matter of quality of life. I hurt all the time - if I stretch and get to moving I won't. I'm a worse parent when I'm in pain, I'm not as patient, fun or mobile to do activities. Feeling physically limited by pain is destroying my will to do anything -except search for a way to numb....food...tv...video games...workaholic... and my quality of work is really poor. I'm ADD. It's definitely true that if I exercise something in my brain works way better. The brain fog is awful. Instead of enjoying life, I'm hiding from it. It's spring, my favorite season. This morning my partner and I came up with a challenge. We get a break from all responsibilities for every minute we exercise. 2 hr. limit a day. 1 hr. limit of stretching /yoga. I'm responsible for lining up childcare, payable immediately. We are sooo fried, we are both very motivated to earn even 15 minutes of reading, sculpting, painting, being ....uninterrupted. So, I'm off to earn my first break....And this is with 60 pages of taxes hanging over me...