An open letter to my friends who approve of health care reform:

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Written by my good friend, and neighbor, Martin Anderson on his FB page (shared here with permission):


I know that many of you feel that health care is a right and that the health-care reforms bills passed by Congress are good things that are going to save lives. The sad truth is that it won't save any lives. Not one. In fact, Armageddon is just around the corner.

Let me explain:

Diverting people from $1,000 emergency room visits into $100 doctor office visits is going to bankrupt our country. As a country, we simply can't afford that kind of savings. Who knows how many unjustified wars the Republicans will have to launch to waste all that money? As of a result of the unbridled empathy of our current administration, countless Americans will die under future Republican admiinistrations.

And I simply cannot afford to pay 0.9% more on that portion of my income that is over $250,000 each year. I mean, I’ve got to pay my country club dues. Yes, it’s true that all three of my houses are paid off, but my 3 Mercedes-Benz vehicles are getting old. I prefer to exchange them every 12 months at most to keep up appearances. And until this fiasco, I was seriously considering my first Bentley.

And it’s still a struggle to afford the basic necessities of life, like the cleaning ladies, gardeners, the household staff, and the first class airplane tickets that I buy to ferry myself and my family
from one house to the other. As it is, I don't know how I can continue to keep all of my houses air conditioned to 68 degrees in the summertime, and heated to 78 degrees in the winter, even when I'm not there. If taxes continue to rise, how will I be able to afford to take 45 minutes showers in my olympic sized bathtub?

And let's not forget that many of my fellow ritchie-riches no longer find their second or third-wives attractive (or are closeted gays), and thus are forced to spend countless thousands of dollars on drugs and hookers every year. These "off the book expenditures" add up, and they're apparently not even tax-deductible. I know it's outrageous, but it's true - someone actually tried.

Taxing me to pay for the healthcare of people who are too lazy to make $250,000 per year will likely prevent me from realizing my dream to buy my own Gulfstream jet. And that's just not fair to me, to the guy who makes the Gulfstream jets, or the private pilots that I won't be able to hire to fly me around without having to stand in line with you miscreants.

And let's face it: Iif you aren't already earning $250k per year (or at least enough to buy health insurance), it's obviously because you're too lazy. If you were too stupid not to get insurance on the
day you were born (before any pre-existing conditions), how is that my fault? Why am I responsible for the decisions you made on the day you emerged from the womb? Where is fetal personal responsibility in this equation?

The sad truth is that this healthcare fiasco is the final straw in removing any reason for you to seek work at all. I mean, now that everyone can get affordable healthcare without lifting a finger, what motivation do you have to work? How could there be anything in life that is as desirable as having your basic health-care needs met? Not even the pleasure of my olympic sized bathtub or my future Bentley/Gulfstream exceeds the pleasure of a prostate exam, a broken bone, or open heart surgery.

And so it is with great regret that I acknowledge that the Republicans are right. I'm sorry for what we've foisted upon you. I only hope that someday, you can forgive us, comrade!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So true, so true. The thing I don't get is your point in the first line of your explanation. By providing health care to everyone, we can hopefully work more on the front end of things when the cost is so much less than emergency care. You think even the naysayers would have figured that one out by now.
    3312 days ago
    That took me aback until I read the entire thing. It is SO right on target. Thanks for posting it on your blog. I still have my fingers and toes crossed though cause the self-righteous right is still trying to derail health care reform.
    3314 days ago
    Brilliant!!!! Loved it!! And needed to read it!! Thank you so much for sharing this & tell your friend I think they are a ROCK STAR!!

    3316 days ago
    And don't forget--this stops our plan of eugenics. Kids who are born to parents who have fallen on tough times are kids who will eventually breed more kids who aren't born on third base.*

    *According to Molly Ivins, George Bush was born on third base and thought that he had hit a triple.
    3316 days ago
    i think the best part of this bill is that people won't be able to be denied coverage for pre-exsisting conditions. like me - for being overweight....or one of my good (normal weight) friends - for having been in a severe car accident as a teen and having various on-going problems from it.

    but this is great! :)
    3316 days ago
    LOVE IT! Needs to be published where everyone can see it! :)
    3316 days ago
    Should be required reading--that's fabulous! Thanks for sharing!
    3316 days ago
    hahahahaha emoticon
    3316 days ago
    Love it!
    3316 days ago
    Brilliant & scathing!
    3316 days ago
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