Seven Days of Things That Bug Me - Day Seven, 3.21.2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I know that this has happened to you.
You've needed some assistance getting something done - it may be a project at work, a social project for the community, even something that needs to be completed at home.
So you request someone do something for the project that will help you in it's completion.
You do your best to accomplish every other aspect of the project, maybe you even finish early. Then you go see how the one piece of the project you asked for help on has gone and you find that . . . nothing has been done.
Not by your associate at work; not by your friend in the social network; not even by your spouse of grown child. They have all failed to do what you asked and they agreed to do.
What do you do?
If there is time, you work to all hours to complete the project. Giving up sleep to accomplish that which you have committed.
Sometimes you finish the project in spite of the trouble those who you trusted have dumped on you. Sometimes you don't get the project completed on time which makes YOU feel like an inept loser, or worse, the person that counted on you perceives you as an inept loser.
What do you do? I can tell you what I do.
What I don't do, at least not in the past two years since I've grown up, is confront the person who failed me and scream at them, rant and rave at them and tell them how much they have srcewed me over.
No, what I do is simply go to them, tell them what they have chosen not to do after making a commitment to me and tell them what the consequences were for me. I also let them know that I am disappointed, Extremely disappointed.
For me, this never happens at home. My DW does anything and way more if I ask her to help. Usually, she'll get so into a project that I have to hustle just to stay ahead of from her.
In social organizations where I've counted on someone who didn't follow up on their given word, I never ask them for help again. Sometimes it becomes very plain that I won't work with another volunteer and I'm asked, "Why not?"
My answer is always, "You'll have to ask them".
I'm retired now, so I don't have to worry about something like this ever happening to me at work again, but when I did work and was in charge of a project, my philosophy was the Boy Scout "Be Prepared". I've had to take some people off a project for non-performance and I've always been able to get another associate to help me with everything the first associate dropped.
But it bugs me when someone doesn't follow through when they've committed to me. I would much rather them tell me they couldn't fit it into their schedule or didn't have the time.
Don't tell me you're going to do something, then don't do it.
I may not look like it, but often there are visible (to me) flames and steam coming out of my ears.
Actually, it more than bugs me. It infuriates me. It makes me extremely angry.
It reflects on me that I didn't know you couldn't be counted on.
When I'm pist at myself, definitely stay away.