RONSMYSHARONA

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I never thought I'd be happy to stay the same.....

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

LOL. I decided Wednesday would be my weigh in, because of scheduling making weekends too hectic. So I weighed this morning, and I am the same weight as I started 2 weeks ago. Which is ok. I'm running alongside the wagon, not quite back on yet, getting used to logging food and walking, keeping in the back of my mind that I'm starting a program again, etc. I had a little scare there that I gained 3 lb. all in the space of a couple of days, but now I'm back where I began. And I'm happy with that.

I have to get back into this slowly--don't know how to explain it, but I know how my mind works. If I ALLOW myself to get all gung-ho about it, I will do too much, too soon, and either hurt myself or get overwhelmed or burn out. I HAVE to make myself incorporate it slowly in order to make it MINE. Does that make sense to anyone but me? If I don't do it slowly, it's just a diet and I'll eventually quit again. If I incorporate it slowly and allow myself to adopt it into my LIFE, hopefully it will become part of my life and not just a fleeting thing.

Got to work on my psycology here, ppl. ;) I know this about myself. I hope. I'm looking back on last year, trying to figure out why I quit sparkppl when I loved it so much, and I was losing weight! so I won't make the same mistake again.

I know it's going to take time--a lifelong committment. Like my marriage. ; ) For richer, for poorer, good days and bad, fat days and thin. Committing to myself for the rest of my life to take care of me. LOVE, ME.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MIMMA_
    Makes sense to me too! When I finally decided that I was going to get back on track, I did it with baby steps... one small change at a time, and I only moved on to the next one when the one I was on was accomplished, reached, made into a habit.

    You can do this!
    3494 days ago
  • RAIN_SIS
    I know exactly what you mean. As soon as I say to myself 'I am going to do this everyday.' I never do whatever it was again. Maybe I should tell myself that about drinking beer - but I think it only works on good habits.
    I have decided to make my meal choices one day, one meal, at a time. I know what good choices are and I often make them, but if I started scolding myself over the occasional doughnut or french fry I know I would get defiant and say 'screw the whole thing! I am outta here.'
    I am also ok with no weight loss. Unlike too many others here I do not loathe myself for being fat. I am this size. I have been for a long time. I am over it.
    My goal here is to get more active. I want to be more fit so my size does not limit me so much. If I lose some pounds in the process that will be very nice. I am not going to cry myself to sleep over it one way or the other.
    You compare fitness to marriage. I feel if fitness gives me as much happiness as my marriage does I will stick with it as long. I just wish we had met sooner.
    This turned into a really long post. I think I will make a blog out of it. Lucky you.
    You got the exclusive - first peek. emoticon
    3497 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/17/2010 1:24:43 PM
  • DIGITALDURGA
    It makes perfect sense. FlyLady had a comment one time that one of the reasons she says to do only 15 minutes of decluttering a day is so that you have time to process the changes, accept what you are letting go. I think this is the same way. When I do too much all at once when I get busy/unhappy/stressed out the new habits are the first to go away.

    So this time I'm trying to move my baseline, slowly, gradually. So I don't freak out and put all my armor back on. Yes, I'm impatient. I want 50 pounds gone by the time I'm on the beach in San Diego this fall. But I think I want to be who I see inside myself more. So, slowly I'll go.
    3497 days ago
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