Security blankets ( They aren't just for Linus)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I had a moment of epiphany today. I think the main reason I'm having such a hard time losing weight now is because I've made it my security blanket. You see I'm at a very fragile place in my life right now. Most of the time I don't know up from down. I haven't felt terra firma under my feet for over a year and it's killing me.
You see as long as I'm fat I have an excuse. If I don't get hired for a job it's fat discrimination. If a guy isn't interested in me it's because I'm fat. If I meet someone and they don't like me it's because I'm overweight. If someone wants me try something physical and new I can't do it because I'm obese. I am Linus to infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I realized today is that I'm sitting here hiding in this body and letting life pass me by. Please don't misunderstand me. I have lots of friends. I go out alot. I have fun. But how many things have I made excuses not to do because of my weight. I think the only way to put it is that I'm a coward. I truly am. I'm afraid if the fat is gone then it's all on me. In truth that's exactly where it should be.
Does this mean that from this moment on I'll buckle down and tackle this diet and exercise with no mercy? I hope so. But I know me and I know I that it may not be that easy. But I have finally admitted to myself what the problem is and now I can start to deal with it on a daily basis.
Anyone want to join me in burning this blanky once and for all???