Experiencing Counterfeit JOY!! Stress= Food????
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Happy Hump-Day Diva's!!!
So as you all know I have been missing a part of Cassandra. I have been missing my zest for life. I have to be completely honest to have my Joy in my life.. This will be long b/c it's more so for me to be honest & just vent my feelings... So today I let it out..
Yesterday I ate bad, I ate about maybe 40 plain M&M's, I just stopped counting at one point. I made like 3 trips to the candy jar at work. Then I ate about 8 almond kisses. Then I went to grocery store when I got off & bought some sugar wafers, now I have eaten these in nearly 2 years (ate 7 of them). However, I just ate whatever I wanted. I was sooooo consumed by stress at work & I once again turned to emotional eating. I know I don't like how I feel after I eat a lot of junk- So Why Do I Eat It????
I asked myself "What Are You Missing? What Are You Searching For?" The truth is I keep on letting counterfeit joys consume me b/c the truth is I felt only momentary Joy from those foods but at the end of the night I was upset & disappointed with myself. I realized that I am just going thru the motions of life & not living my life b/c I am letting food control my life. I know that my Stress level at work for the next 5 months is going to be at a 20 on a scale of 1 to 10! So if I know that every February thru June my work load will be extremely demanding & stressful, how can I make this year different. How can I find JOY in the Midst of Chaos, In the Midst of Stress???
Every year during Feb-June I manage to gain about 10 pounds from work stress. I am seriously trying to find a way to not let Stress Control My Life & then use Stress as a Reason to turn to Food.. I am tired of the- Counterfeit Joy of the Cookies, of the Cake, of the Chips, of the Junk Food!!! I want to be at Peace in the time of the Storm... I don't know how long it will take me to get there but I am going to try my best to find my way there...