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Family health scares

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

So I think I've completely lost sight of why I'm truly doing this. Back when I was seeing the most results I wasn't doing this to look good or have a certain number on the scale. My main focus was my being a good role model for my daughter and to change the patterns of the women in my family. Somehow I completely lost sight of that. I'll be totally honest, recently I have just been thinking ahh I am not where I should be as far as weight, inches and goal dresses go. Why the heck did I lose focus of being healthy and being a good role model for my daughter and others? I think that might have something to do with why I plateaud. I think it is important to have a combination of things pushing you. For me it's: 1) to be healthy so that I am not like the other women in my family 2) to be a good role model for my daughter 3) to be a good role model for others 4) to feel great about the way that I look through the confidence that I gain working out 5) to not obsess over what size I am or how much I weigh becaues what really matters is how I feel and if I'm healty.

So why the sudden wake up call? My mom ended up in the emergency room, yet again. My aunt, mom and grandma have all had gastric bypass surgery. Grandma and mom's surgeries were after I dropped a lot of weight. The problem is that they have tons of excuses...oh we tried ths diet or that diet and we work out....consistency is the key. I see their lame excuses...sorry but it's true...and didn't want to be that way! So my mom hasn't been taking care of herself since her surgery. She is only thin because she throws up after gorging herself on foods she shouldn't be eating. My aunt gained back a lot of her weight and my grandma is still about 200 pounds overweight. ANyway, my mom has ulcers and a lot of other issues and today she was diagnosed with a heart condition. My grandfather died of heart disease and my grandma has had two bypasses. It's national heart health awareness month and while I've sent out information on this to people, I don't think I truly paid attention. Sure, I'm actually pretty dang healthy and don't really have too many health risks due to weight. I'm still overweight but I'm healthy. Maybe that's why I lost sight? I mean, I got down to a weight I never imagined I'd be at....and I got here a healthy way....complacency? Maybe. All I know is I do NOT want to end up like them and I don't want Azali to end up like them. Thanks to my dear sunny gals I did not give into stress today. You ladies have helped push me this week through some times when I usually would have gave in. ThANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart.

SO I made a plan this week...and of course things changed!

Monday my alarm didn't go off so I had to cut my gym workout short and the lady that teaches the class I was goign to take during lunch couldn't do it. But I did get in my run and ploymetrics and still had a 1000 calore deficit which is my goal everyday. Then today I forgot we had a cusstomer coming in (our biggest customer) and so aerobics st class got cancelled and we were bought lunch. Through this I still managed to get in my spin class and my p90x shoulders and arms and a 1 mile run. I managed to stay in calorie range and not binge eat after visitng the hospital. I had a 1000 calorie deficit again today. TOmorrow is a test....a vendor of ours is taking me to my first real business lunch at a chinese place. I already logged at least part of my lunch and know that I have about 250 calories I can play with and still be in range. I would like for my range to be lower tomorrow....around 1400 since its's a light day with just an hour and a half of p90x yoga. Wish me luck! I can do this!

I feel good. I'm back on track, the viva fire is burning deep within my soul, health and my daughter are a primary focus again...I know that I will never have a perfect body..but why not work at it and make it something I'm happy with? I've come a long way and I should be damn proud of that and continue to push furthe and harder to reach my goals of becoming a personal trainer and an athlete.

PS. I love yoU!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, I am sorry to hear about your mum...hope she's doing okay!
    You are a rockstar Blaize!! Love you too! :)
    2981 days ago
    What a great blog, I love the way you are coaching yourself and willing to see things as they are and making healthy choices as things change.
    What an inspiration to me and fellow sparklies.
    You really are such a positive anf gutsy role model to Azali.
    You are changing how food and exercise occurs for your family, it will have a ripple effect for generations.

    Hope your mum feels empowered to healthy choices, it must be so hard to see her not well.
    I have read on Spark that sometimes we need to increase our calories for a week so our body can begin to lose again, maybe you need to break your plateau that way?
    2981 days ago
    Awwww. I am so sorry! I am glad to hear you are getting refocused. You and Azali are worth it! Good luck this week. emoticon emoticon
    2981 days ago
    Do you see how the Universe is conspiring to keep you from your workouts and have you eat fatty(er) foods?? I think that creating a 1,000 calories deficit daily must not only be difficult to schedule but the main reason you are hungry. The car won't go far without any gas in the tank. I say try upping your cals to 1700 - 1800 and see if the scale moves.

    2981 days ago
    Blaize, I hope your mother is feeling better today and that she will be home soon.

    You ARE setting a great example for your daughter, you have already changed so much that she did not recognize you in a picture. A few slip ups here and there are not going to change what she remembers. Consistency is the best rule of thumb to follow. for the most part you exercise everyday and eat good. Your goal of a 1000 cal. deficit every day is great.

    You are working towards getting back and staying on track. You have already planned on how to handle the lunch today. You'll do great. I know you will.
    2981 days ago
    I'm glad you are refocusing, I am here to help you! I can text you in the AM, talk you out of emotional binging, whatever it takes to help you reach your goals, you and Azali are so worth it! Thank you for being such a good leader. I am proud of you and your accomplishments.
    2981 days ago
  • TOWANDA132
    So glad you have this perspective, I was getting a bit worried about you! I'm also sad for your Mom, I hope she sees this as a wake up call. She is lucky to have you to care about her health, and in an odd way you are lucky to have a reminder of why your own health is so important to you! You are smokin' hot and you should keep working for your goals but be so proud of the progress you have made for you and Azali the cutiest patootiest toddler ('cept maybe mine) in the land!
    2981 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your family health scares. I hope your mom is able to keep her condition under control. I'm glad to hear you are back on track. It is pretty much the same way for me--my family is diabetes, diabetes and more diabetes. My dad died from it (kidney failure) , my uncle has gone blind. It is scary to see this happen to your role models and I don't want my future offspring to have to see it happen to me. Thanks for the reminder. emoticon
    2982 days ago
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