Feeling frustrated

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sigh..all I can say is that I'm not giving up! But I am definitely frustrated. Ya know when you are just so close to reaching a goal, no matter how big or small, it just seems to take forever to get there!

Well, it isn't just seeming to take forever, it is! lol, okay, not really. But it is taking months!

I've been within 10 pounds of my 100 pound mark since mid-December. I was at 93 pounds at my 9 month mark. I'm now at 10 1/2 months and still a few pounds away! Ugh!

Nothing has changed with my food plan. I'm doing just a tad more walking, but nothing special. I want to exercise sooo badly, but any excess movement and I'm dying in pain because of all my bulging disks in my back.

Maybe I'm just frustrated with life right now. After having had 3 in office injections, 4 out patient injections, massage therapy, chiropractic, physical therapy, traction, etc...I found out 01/14 that I was a candidate for a laser spine surgery that could help relieve some pain. I was also asked if I would consider being a patient to do this procedure for the t.v. show "The Doctors". Well, after being narrowed down to from a group, I'm one of the final two. it has been such a long process. Well, not long, but slow. Several interviews and numerous pictures sent later, I'm still waiting. I do know that if I'm picked the surgery will be the week of March 29th. That is sooooo far away. I know I am patient and life will continue, but I am so tired of being in pain. I just want a little relief.

Today was a bad pain day. Something was in the beautiful 78 degree air that was bothering me every time I went outside. Don't get me wrong, I love this time of year! So, I try to get outside every chance I get. But...I have been sneezing all day. This may not seem like a big deal. But, when you have numerous bulging disks in your back and neck, a sneeze is agony. The pain shoots from my neck down through my shoulder and into my arm. I've been typing to much...even that hurts. I write for a living. Great, huh?

Okay, i guess I just needed to vent some. So, let's try to make this positive.

I am grateful that I am alive! I have a precious husband, and two adorable children - who are even good once in a while. :-) I love my job - most of the time. I at least love what I do. Today (versus 1 year ago), I am happier and thinner than I have ever been in my adult life. I can sit down on the floor AND get back up after playing with my kids. I can tie my shoes and cross my legs! I have no problem getting in or out of my car and could probably even put a pillow behind my back, if I thought it would help, without my belly touching the steering wheel. Today is a good day. God can get me through everything he brings me to. Today is only one day. Tomorrow will be another. I am so thankful for my program and that I have been binge free for 10 1/2 months. Thank you God!

Okay, I feel better.

Dear God,

Please bless my facebook and Spark friends. We all have challenges in our lives. Please watch over us and guide us to make the right decisions. Please give us the wisdom to make to make it through each day, one at a time. Thank you for blessing me, my family, and my friends. Thank you for giving me my sanity for today. In your name I pray. Amen!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I so hear you, no one can understand the simple price of a sneeze if they have not been there, it must be a week for venting, because I did that on my blog Tuesday night! God bless and keep you!
    2988 days ago
    What caught my eye was you are still eating the same. Shake it up just a little bit and surprise your body and keep walking. You may just get to goal. Take care and my prayers for a great outcome on your surgery.
    2989 days ago
    It's good to let it out and even better, you turned it into something positive and recognized all of your accomplishments! I hate your in so much pain, my Aunt had severe back problems for three years and it was almost enabling for her. She finally had a successful surgery last year and her pain has been relieved. What ever surgery you decide on, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Stephanie :)
    2989 days ago
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