WTTS Blog #1
Monday, February 15, 2010
I'm full of anxiety about writing this blog. Why is it so hard to do? I think I've been putting off facing myself, and this is sort of forcing me to do it. I've eaten terribly this week. Night time is the worst. I am eating just to soothe my nerves. That cycle has to stop. I wonder what it will take to snap me out of it. I'm going through some med changes, and I've started some that are notorious for causing weight gain. This has me worried, too.
I want to be excited about my good health again, and I can't seem to recapture that feeling. I just keep wanting to run & hide from the world, and that's not the way to get anything done. I want to feel good in my own skin again, even if it has cellulite & whatever else that's less than attractive. I'm less concerned about weight loss right now and more concerned about finding ME again. What happened to the girl that had confidence and believed in herself???
I'm whiny & full of excuses lately, and I don't like who I've become. I know I can be a better, more positive person, but I have a hard time being that person for myself...if that makes sense. I can be that for someone else...but not just me. I want to matter to myself again. Is that too much to ask?