MARYLYNNE77

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WTTS Blog #1

Monday, February 15, 2010

I'm full of anxiety about writing this blog. Why is it so hard to do? I think I've been putting off facing myself, and this is sort of forcing me to do it. I've eaten terribly this week. Night time is the worst. I am eating just to soothe my nerves. That cycle has to stop. I wonder what it will take to snap me out of it. I'm going through some med changes, and I've started some that are notorious for causing weight gain. This has me worried, too.

I want to be excited about my good health again, and I can't seem to recapture that feeling. I just keep wanting to run & hide from the world, and that's not the way to get anything done. I want to feel good in my own skin again, even if it has cellulite & whatever else that's less than attractive. I'm less concerned about weight loss right now and more concerned about finding ME again. What happened to the girl that had confidence and believed in herself???

I'm whiny & full of excuses lately, and I don't like who I've become. I know I can be a better, more positive person, but I have a hard time being that person for myself...if that makes sense. I can be that for someone else...but not just me. I want to matter to myself again. Is that too much to ask?
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  • JENNERATOR13
    YOu will find that spark in no time. Just step back and rethink things. What do you want out of this experience?? Is now the time?? Take a step back and change one thing at a time and you will figure things out. I have faith in you!!!
    emoticon
    3691 days ago
  • -LORI-B
    Its always easier to love and support others. The hard part is to love and support ourselves. But this is necessary. One step ata time. You will find u again and see the emoticon lady we all see. HUGS
    3695 days ago
  • LMCGEEN
    Nighttime eating is also a struggle for me as well as the weekends. During the work week I am on top of it because I can schedule everything during my day and I cant just walk to the kitchen and get something else.
    I have started to make myself schedule things out during this time and write down what I eat when I am leaving the kitchen. I hate stopping to write it down so I stopped eating so much at night. I hope that maybe that might help you going foward. Good luck finding you!
    3695 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4311102
    Read the Spark. It is very inspiring and encouraging. I have to use self- talk in the evenings when I feel like snacking and no it doesn't always work but more often than not it does. Blog. Make a list of things YOU want to do and start doing some of them. Pray. Avoid toxic people. Exercise 10 min a day every day (more is even better but start a 10 min/day streak). Taking care of yourself first is not selfish it is necessary. Find an activity you can do with your son. Eat well and consciously. Good luck and keep sparkin.
    emoticon
    3695 days ago
  • CRAZEPUPPIES
    Night time eating is really hard for me as well. I don't usually get home until around 9pm and of course I'm hungry, even if I ate dinner around 6pm. However, I have found that all it takes is one time of saying, no I'm going to bed, and it gets easier to say it the next time. It is hard to break the habit, but I think you just have to think about what you are doing and make a conscious decision.
    Wanting to matter to yourself is in no way too much to ask for. Honestly you have to matter to yourself, that should be your first priority, being comfortable with yourself because otherwise no one else will care.
    Best of luck finging you again!
    3695 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/15/2010 10:57:05 AM
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