JAYNELAYNE

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My Life Got Flipped Turned Upside Down

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Well hello =]

I know I haven't been around. I've been busy, stressed, exhausted, busy, ugh. My life just took a huge curve.

So are you ready for this bomb?

I put in my resignation at work effective February 2nd, 2010.

I'd been very unhappy at work for a little while now and I'd come to that point that no one wants to come to. It physically hurt and depressed me every morning I would wake up to go to work. I dreaded it. I tried not to. I tried staying positive and just doing my job. Maybe the fear or more things happening brought them into fruition, but it just didn't get better. There was so much going on and I was so....exhausted I guess? I woke up Monday for work, startled awake by a nightmare. I look over at the clock and its 7am. Crap, I'm late. When I wake up late I freak out normally. I had a panic attack. All I could think about was how much trouble I was going to be in, how I'd probaby get written up due to being sick 2 days the prior week. All these emotions hit me and I was vomiting, and just realllllly freaking out. I called in and took the day to evaluate and figure out wtf is wrong with me. I realized that I was so unhappy. Crying every other day, feeling like I was bipolar. Worried about whether or not my job status was solid, blahblahblah. I decided it was best that I resign.

That scared the living s*** out of me.

But I did it, and I'm a little sad with the seperation but I know its for the best. I couldn't grow there. It was the same thing every day. The seperation was on good terms, and I really do wish the company success in the future.

So now I'm working with my mom to pay the bills and help her out. I had a fantastic interview. It's looking promising, just waiting for the call =]

I decided that if I don't get that position I'm going to go back to school full time and finish my degree.

Ok, plan set

breath....

Because of all this craziness I haven't been around spark too much. I will also be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. I let the devil get to me a few times.

emoticon "Herro!"

Boo on him.

I wanted pizza, I had it.
I wanted chocolate, I ate it.
I wanted a beer, I drank one.

Did I every realllllly overindulge? No, but my eating was all over the place.

I've been calorie cycling in a way. Some days I would only eat once, the next day I had pizza, the next day I made stew, the next day a sandwich, the next day cheerios. I've been all over the place, but my appetite has been too.

What does that mean for the scale? I have no idea.

Oh yea I even had a few Pepsi Throwbacks.....

emoticon

I haven't been avoiding the scale surprisingly. I'd weighed myself a few times, no issues....

I get on the scale today and I'm freaking 218!!!

218....

I'm out of the 220's.

I haven't seen numbers like that since....ever....

EVER.

So freaking happy.

Now with working from home, I'm excited to get into a new routine. A routine that includes NOT waking up at the crack of dawn. A routine that involves a great breakfast, elliptical time, and more time to focus on me and get myself together!

I think 2010 is going to be fabulous.

I'm coming back with a renewed sense of faith, ready to tackle whatever comes along.

Sorry for my absence, and thank you for all the messages, comments, and goodies while I was away. I appreciate it so very much.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TOOTIEHEAD
    I'm happy for you! You're young, you'll be fine. Going back to school souds like a great idea! And... 218...
    emoticon
    3942 days ago
  • TALEENA
    You are going through a lot Monica! I'm happy you were able to resign. A job isn't worth the suffering, sickness and stress you were going though. I'm so glad you are able to help out your Mom for some cash.

    Congats on the 218! I'm right behind you :P

    Be sure to take care of yourself! You are worth it!

    Shelley
    3942 days ago
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