I got caught Cheating

Isn't it weird that you think you are doing the right thing and presto you get caught.
Okay, I'm not talking about cheating on a wife, my taxes or anything else that a lot of people cheat on..
I'm talking about how I was cheating on myself and got caught by my doctor. I joined Sparkpeople last january and within 6 months I lost 31 lbs , only 5 lbs from my goal weight. I was biking several miles aweek, was weight training at the gym and doing some running. The most important thing I did was keep track of everything i put into my mouth throughout the day.
Somewhere near the late Fall or early winter I started to cheat. I still stayed active by biking inside on my 185.00 trainer, still went to the gym 3-4 days a week, took a spinning class each saturday BUT was lying to myself on my food journal.

Sure it started honestly, I made the excuse I was too tired to log another item into my food journal and went to bed and figured the secret was safe with me. i awaoke the next morning and had good intentions of adding the items from last night BUT decided it was okay as this was another day, my pants still weren't tight so i was doing good.

Soon the holidays were upon me and I got busy , ate some extra food, drank some extra wine. "forgot" to add it to my journal or wasn't putting in the "honest" amount of ingredients.

I was at my Doctors in November and he was so impressed with my weight. the numbers on my blood tests. I am taking a cholesterol lowering med and he said everything was working great!!

I jumped on the scale at the end of December . put it into my weekly weigh chart on Sparkpeople and felt good.. Again I was adding the foods to my food log BUT for some reason I didn't add the right amounts of everything or "simply forgot" to add the last glass of wine, the chocolate chips or the peanut
butter toast, what the heck i was writing the calories in that I was supposed to be consuming right?

I jumped on the scale a few weeks later and my weight went up 3 lbs. OUCH! What did I do? I did NOT put it in my weekly weigh in as I did not want it to show what happened I figured what was on the weigh in chart was good.. and that 3 lbs would be gone in another week, I was working out still right.

Well January came and went, I logged a lot of fitness minutes, changed up my workout routine and still "almost" recorded everything i was eating or drinking. I was becoming addicted to chocolate chips by now and was putting down I was eating about 2 tablespoons a night, I figured that's 140 calories and I just burnt 450 at the gym.

Come February 4th and I go to doctors to see how my last blood test came out, I have to be tested every 3 months because the cholesterol meds can cause damage to your liver in some people.
He weighed me first.... 18o lbs !!! OUCH! That's a 15 lb gain from late last Summer. How did that happen i asked him ? Playing stupid... he went over the blood work next and my good cholesterol went down low, That's not good, my bad cholesterol went up , that's really not good he stated, mt regular cholesterol went from 130 to 160, again he looked perplexed..

He looked at me and asked, 'whats' new that you are doing'?
I said well i like wine a few nights a week, I "nibble" on chocolate chips and besides that stay active.

He then took my blood pressure and looked at me and took it again. I knew what was coming next.. It was now High Blood Pressure and he said he needed to start me on blood pressure drugs TODAY!!! RIGHT NOW!! I thought to myself that sucks... I do everything I am supposed to but why me ? why this?

After i got home I was in shock, depressed and worn out, all this hard work gone withing 3 months!! What happened?

I went to bed early and woke up in the middle of the night. I was thinking how many chocolate chips do i really eat? Is it 2 tablespoons? Humm I bought 2 bags last week, i know my wife had some BUT what happened to the rest? Did I really eat almost 2 bags a week for the past month? I don't remember recording that? I figured if i didn't record it it must have not gotten eaten by me..
I like having a" little" brandy during the winter at night to keep my inner body warm. humm, 1 oz =about 86 calories, not to bad i thought but even though I was recording1 oz I was having 2 oz. So instead of having 86 empty calories I was having 172 empty calories.. The problem is that they are not only empty BUT turn into sugar in the middle of night and then go to fat. Nothing gained here I should have had a hot cup of tea to warm my inner self.

Wine? i love a little wine, I enjoy the taste , aroma and relaxing effects after a busy week..
the portion guide for wine is i think a 5 oz glass, only problem is that my glass holds 10 oz but what the heck, I thought I'll put down 2 - 5 oz glasses not 2-10 oz glasses, who's going to know right?
The chocolate chips? I figured I was eating more like 8 tablespoons a night. That's 560 calories NOT 140!! Wopw how stupid have I become? How dishonest have I become to myself? How could i have let myself get into thinking no one would know?

Sometimes getting caught is the best thing that can happen. I vow now to start being honest on my food tracking and doing weekly weigh ins. If I can't do that little bit for myself that I should consider help..

It just goes to show that you need to be honest TO YOURSELF in the process, whether it's food tracking or fitness tracking be honest, ask yourself If you only ate what you put down, or did you really work out as hard as you want yourself to believe, dis you really peddal that stationary bike that fast? Did you really do heavy cleaning for 60 minutes?

Be honest with yourself and only good things will happen. i'll kepp you posted..