We really can be hard to understand
Monday, February 01, 2010
For years I’ve listened to men joke about how difficult women are to understand. No we’re not, I’d think. All you have to do is pay attention.
Today, I started to see the light.
I’ve blogged about this before, on my Losing It blog: reality slapped me in the face this week and I’ve discovered/realized that I’ve not just gained “a little bit of weight.” I’ve officially gained back half of the 115 pounds I lost with my divorce. Ugh.
I was talking to my mother about it earlier today, and I told her I was a little upset with her for not having mentioned it to me. “Could you have at least said, ‘Hey …?’”
And then it hit me. Would I have really wanted my mom, or my best friend, or my sister, or anyone to tell me, “Hey, you should really think about losing some weight.”
I’m not sure.
On the one hand, it would have been nice to have someone agree with me when I said, “Wow. I can’t believe I’m gaining so much weight,” rather than say things like, “No, you look fine,” or “Really? You don’t look like you’ve gained weight.”
But is that something we really want to hear? We tell ourselves that yes, we would want our mothers or best friends to let us know, but when it really comes down to it, do we? How would I react if I was sitting at dinner with my best friends and, when the waiter took our order, my friends looked at me and said, “Do you really think you should get the chimichanga? I’m thinking the chicken fajitas would be better – without the tortilla.”
To say I wouldn’t react very well is a bit of an understatement.
So, dear guys and men, maybe you do indeed have a point. Maybe we really are a little hard to understand.