Reality bites

Sunday, January 31, 2010

(This is from my regular weight loss blog,

Reality always seems to have a way of slapping us in the face.

Not just a “How dare you!” kind of slap, but more of a “Hey! Wake up, stupid! I’m trying to tell you something!” kind of slap.

That’s the kind of reality I got hit with this week.

I’m not an idiot, I know I’ve gained weight this past year. My jeans and slacks are tighter and a size bigger than they were last Christmas, shirts and jackets don’t fit the way they used to and that damned scale … well, it’s not really my friend these days.

I’ve been guaging my weight gain according to the weight I lost eight years ago; in the eight months surrounding my divorce, I lost 115 pounds and went from a size 24 to a 12. It came off much too quickly and I knew, eventually, some of it would come back. I vowed, however, that there was no way I’d be the size I was before.

I’m not that size or that weight – but I’ve officially hit the half-way mark. And while I knew that was a bad thing, I wasn’t really aware of just how bad until I had my picture taken this week.

Smack! “Hey! Wake up stupid! I’m trying to tell you something!”

The first thing I heard when I saw that picture yesterday was, “Wow. That’s me. That’s not me, is it? Yep, that’s me. Wow.”

Then I sprung into action. OK, first I had a meltdown with a friend, then I sprung into action. I signed up for, a free site designed to help with weight loss and healthful living. I’ve planned out my menus for the week, and my exercise regimen.

I have friends who are eager to help – one will serve as a trainer as the weather changes and I try to take up running (I say “try” because I’ve never been a runner before. Never.); another has promised to “uber nag” me when she thinks I’m slipping; and one will do what she’s been doing for more than a year – help me find healthier foods to eat and more effective ways to work out.

I’ve also been struck with the kind of reality that tells me that for far too long I’ve let my weight and my size be my identity, and that’s just wrong. I’ve been thin, I’ve been large and larger, but I’ve always been the same person. Same personality, same sense of humor, same everything.

So while I’m going to continue to work out, change my eating habits and still work on dropping a size or two by the time my son graduates in May, I’m also taking back my identity.

It’s so much more than my size.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MOLLYR618
    Thanks to you all for the welcome and the gret attitudes - I've been on SP for just a few days and have to say I really love it! It's got all the best parts of every other program I've tried!

    Hope you all have a great week! emoticon emoticon
    3337 days ago
    Welcome to SP you have come to the right place. A lot of us get hit in the face just the way you were pictures can be so unrelenting. Most of us define who we are by our looks not by who we really are and that's sad because we all miss out on some really great people because of their looks. This is a very supportive and motivating site learn to use it to it''s fullest and the rewards will be great. Enjoy your journey and make it permanent. emoticon
    3337 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    3337 days ago
    Welcome to SP, you will love it here!
    Enjoy your day
    3337 days ago
    Good for you! Gotta love a girl with a plan :)
    3337 days ago
    Yeah, you go!
    3337 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by MOLLYR618