What I am up to

Friday, January 29, 2010

The last two weeks have not been great. Yes I started off the year wonderfully......and then......A very close friend of mine who has been sick quite a bit since last September, finally revealed to me that she has cancer. Stomach cancer no less, stage 3B. She doesn't sleep at night, never has, but that is okay, I don't either. So every night near midnight my phone rings. And we spend the entire night talking. I listen while her pain increases. It is not good. She has been going for radiation five days a week as well as chemo once a week. She has been throwing up blood. She has had nosebleeds. Since she is already paraplegic her nurse comes in many times a day to look after her. She has no family.
I have stayed up and we have talked about many many things, but the question keeps coming up"Do you think I will make it? Do you think I will beat this?" In all honesty I do not think she stands a chance, however I try to stay positive by making jokes and singing to her. I do not lie and tell her she will make it for I cannot know that. Nor do I tell her she won't make it. I simply tell her let's take one day at a time. She shows me her fears and her weakness and vulnerability. I show her love. It is all I have to give her and I do it very willingly.
I do not wish anyone to feel sorry or sad at this blog. I am just simply having to write at the moment. It helps me to put it on paper so to speak.

I got a call this afternoon from her. She was frustrated with the results of her tests. Her heart is taking a wallop with these treatments and the cancer has increased by 2 cm over the previous testing done two weeks ago. Her meds have been changed to hopefully help decrease some of the vomiting. She keeps me informed on what is going on and asks my opinion. I am catching myself saying "we" instead of "you". I only know one thing. I will be there for her as long as she can talk to me and will think about her even when she cannot.

For those of you dealing with any form of cancer or other illness, my heart goes out to you. I admire your strength and your courage. For those of you not having to deal yourself but having a friend with illness, reach out to them any way you can. Do not try to make them feel as if they are less than they are. They are strong courageous people and deserve your love and a shoulder when necessary. Just be there for them. They need to know you love and care about them. They do not wish to be treated differently than they were before they were stricken with illness. Most do not want your pity, but would really appreciate support and understanding.
Blessings to all
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo PEWILK
    A true friend bears witness. You are a true friend.
    3349 days ago
    Bless your heart, Debbie! Life throws us surprises all the time, and sometimes they're not the best. I just joined the Natural Healing team and maybe you can get some tips from them to share with your friend. I, personally, believe that this seaweed called Limu Moui has something in it called fucoidan which has been proven to burst cancer cells.. but people are reluctant to try natural things when they're on so many meds. Also, I'm a believer in raw food for healing.. wish I was there go fix her a big green smoothie!
    Hang in there, and don't forget to focus on yourself! If you don't get your 10-min in to get your heart rate up, you will feel depressed.. I know, it happens to me everytime I skip a day.
    Prayers going up for your friend and you! You are there for her and doing just what you should.. Try not to neglect yourself in the process. emoticon
    3363 days ago
  • 46SHADOW
    Best wishes to you and your friend as you are there for here. emoticon
    3368 days ago
  • SUSAN134
    How fortunate your friend is to have you as she deals with this terrible illness, and how fortunate you are to be there for her and in the process learn so much about love and life.

    Not an easy road, but you my friend are travelling it perfectly. Just to 'be there' is so important.

    Hugs to you and your friend.
    3368 days ago
    You and your friend are in my prayers. emoticon
    3368 days ago
    You are doing what friends do, listening and supporting. You and your friend are in my thoughts. emoticon
    3369 days ago
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