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70% of people under 30 still live @ home

Friday, January 29, 2010

I was watching CBS this Morning and they had an article on this. It shocked me as I thought I was in the minority. maybe I am just old-fashioned. When I graduated high school, a person did one of three things. They joined the military, they went to college or they moved out on their own and went to work. It was seldom that you stayed at home. There was always that threat, "when I turn 18 I am out of here" heard everywhere. Now it is a statistic that young people are living at home, not working and being pampered by their family. That is not to say that all young people that live at home are not working and trying to save for their futures. I know that may have to do that our of necessity.
I believe that is says a great deal about the way of life in the US. I know in many European countries this has been the norm for decades. I feel that we need to help our young people learn how to become an adult and to survive. Did this all come about because of the technical revolution? Young people used to have to help with chores, chopping and hauling wood, cutting grass, painting houses, all those things that have been taken away with condos and maintenance free communities. This is just a small example. It also has come with video games and lack of outdoor activities. How can we help our future generations love to be active, enjoy socializing and finding productivity enjoyable? I know I am going to try to set an example for my grandchildren and maybe the next generation will move out happier, healthier and wiser.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think economics have a lot to do with this also. 20 years ago it was difficult for me to move out of my parents, but I was making really good money for the time and I really needed to spread my wings and make my own decisions.

    Now, my daughter lives at home. (She's 21.) For the most part, she's making about what I was back then. But for me to rent a 2 bedroom apt back then I was paying $500 a month. Now a days she'd be lucky to get a tiny 1 bedroom in a bad neighborhood for that. The cost of living is going up a lot more quickly than peoples paychecks. And I think that, more than anything, is what is keeping so many young people home for so much longer.

    There also isn't the pressure to get married so young anymore. Let's face it, 20 years ago if you didn't choose the college route, people expected to see you pick the marriage route pretty quickly. Now, we tell kids to wait till their older.

    Just a lot of things have changed.... Some good, some not so much, but I personally like having my kid still living home (most of the time!).
    3005 days ago
    I also enjoyed having my children back home for a short time and having my grandchildren in the house. I just want to teach them to live on their own and support ME some day LOL
    3006 days ago
    When my adult children had to move back home they did work around the house and worked outside the home to save up money. It was a good experience for all of us, and we enjoyed getting to know them as adults! Now they are married and on their own, giving us grandbabies.
    3006 days ago
    There is a big difference between helping our kids or enabling them. Each situation is different but from most of the stories I have heard about from my friends or reading blogs here on Spark People, there seems to be more enabling. emoticon
    3006 days ago
  • DARA52
    You know, I don't know. I was spoiled as a child. I didn't learn to do my own laundry until I was 19. It was the day I was moving out. I loved my family but it was just what you did. Moved out on your own. I worked full time, went to school part time and never went back. I never asked for money except for new tires once. I cried when I asked because I was so embarrassed. I have 2 sisters who lived with my parents off and on well in to their forties. Same parents, same spoiled lifestyle. Much different work ethics. ???

    My boys, SPOILED ROTTEN. I can definitely see where I rescued them too much when they were younger from having to do the tough stuff. Working through problems. The oldest one had a drug problem at 16, had a very difficult time in school. Now, he's 100% clean, in college full time and carries a 3.3 avg. Go figure. But he still collapses under too much stress, has a hard time, wants to run away. and my 17 yr old? The boat is still out on that.

    If the economy is bad, that's fine. My boys can live at home as long as they want. But, they have to do chores. It's a must if they aren't in school or aren't working. And even if they are. I don't want to be a housemaid all my life. And, they have to be respectful. We'll see. Talk is cheap. But I watched my mom go through hell, it broke her and my dad up and I refuse to let that happen to me.

    Good luck to all with kids. It's a tough job being a parent.
    3006 days ago
    my daughter lives with me and my hubby he love his 2 grandbabies living with us and adores my daughter the man in her life is anoher story.
    3006 days ago
    Great blog. A few words come to mind...entitlement (yes there are many kids that think they are entitled even when they do nothing), mooch (yep I think some of them are just mooching), and spoiled (yes, a lot of parents have enabled this behavior).
    3006 days ago
    Bonnie, I think the point you made about children doing outside chores is a good one. When my boys were little we lived on a farm and they had to feed the stock before breakfast each morning, as well as carry in wood and other chores in the afternoon. We lived where there was no cable or satellite TV, so they and their friends had to go outside and entertain themselves. They were always building a fort or something that involved a lot of physical labor. They developed a habit of working, very young, and now that they are in their 30s they still continue. Some would say they had a deproved childhood, but I think it made them strong. When my older son lost his white-collar job, he worked in construction to support his family while he went back to college. Perhaps people are over-educated and overspecialized today, and can't make the quick changes the current economy requires.
    3006 days ago
    Yes I think a lot of it is the economy, but it is also a generation that really didnt work to get what they had. I have 2 grown sons still at home, one is in college and the other is looking for work, but they pay us some rent and help around the house some of the time. I am pretty lucky and dont plan to have them here with me forever. I do agree we need to help instill in the next generation it ideals of hard working and responsibility, for my generation those were all we knew and our parents would have thought that was the norm. I do put some blame on the electronic revolution, gameboys, xbox and yes even TV and dont get out and play and interact with other kids enough. But not all electronics is bad, since I would not know you if not for computers.
    Love you Bonnie and hope things will get better. Sorry about hubby too.
    3006 days ago
    I have a 26 year old living at home now. Has his Master's from Carnegie Mellon. Worked 3 years as a research engineer and then was laid off due to the economy. He's been trying to get another job since May.
    3006 days ago
    The economy definitely is affecting the young adults. I have a 31-year-old daughter with a degree that has moved out and back in a few times. Most of her friends have roommates because they cannot afford their own apartments (not even a bachelor pad). I was able to afford a 2 bedroom apartment and pay for my utilities and car insurance on minimum wage in the early 80s. Now you cannot rent a room in Southern Calif on minimum wage and you certainly cannot afford to pay for a car with insurance. The other problem is that the young people that do find jobs, have no sense of security. The people in my family all assumed that they would find a job, stay with the company for 30+ years, and retire comfortably. Now it is common to be with a company for less than 5 years and the 401k plans that they offer do not always guarantee that you can retire. I can see how they can become discouraged. I know a few teachers with less than 3 years experience that need jobs. I do not believe that these young people are all lazy, but many are frustrated and are not sure that they will ever be able to have the lives that they envisioned.
    3006 days ago
    I know many that are going through this same thing. Both of my aunts still have kids living at home. One, her son went off to college with the expectation he'd move home when he graduated to save his money for his own place. Instead no job is good enough, he tells his mom what he wants at the store, sleeps til noon and has no responsibilities. He needs a time table to get his butt kicked out of the house. Even if he needs to go in with one or two other friends like he was doing in college. He's becoming WAY too comfy in this pampered man child lifestyle and as a result is irresponsible with money and when do ya think happened when his car needed a $1000 repair? Yep, mommy and daddy paid for it!

    The other aunt has one kid whose responsible and working. Her oldest (26) has a 6th grade education (last grade he passed on his own and then all 3 kids she signed out of school at 16!!!), a drug problem and a suspended license. He never plans to move out. Her middle child (23) moved back home with her two toddlers and then has the nerve to tell her she hates her, is tired of being treated like a kid, etc.

    I got engaged at 19, married at 21 and have been fine ever since. The generation below me has really lacked in the manners, responsibility and social skills dept. Really sad.
    3006 days ago
    I agree that it is the economy. In my house it is laziness though. My stepdaughter was offered a full time job where she worked all summer and didn't want to take it she rather collect unemployment. If she was willing tio help instead of lie around all day I would say a thing and yes I know the economy is tough. My 53 year old husband will be out of work next month and he has to llok for a job, I was just amazed about the number and I do not think all young people that live at home are lazy, or don't want to mo e out on their own if it sounded that way. I was commenting that it is a sad state of affairs that the older generations are still carrying such a burden when the baby-boomers are hitting SS ages now.
    3006 days ago
    I think the economy is a good part of it. It used to be that having a college degree pretty much guaranteed you a job and that isn't the case anymore. But there is also a good section of our generation that raised a bunch of lazy-a** kids. My DS says that the people at his school (he is a first-year teacher) always comment on what a great work ethic he has and how no one in his generation wants to do a good job anymore. He tells them it was the way he was raised. My DH and I both value a job well done and don't work just to be able to take a vacation.
    3006 days ago
    Everything you said is true, but the economy these days makes it very difficult for people to get a job (not just young people). Not only that, it used to be that you could get a job that paid enough to support you with only a high school education. Now, people who only have bachelor's degrees are having difficulty. All of that started happening when the US started manufacturing less and less for ourselves and sending all those jobs overseas, where there is cheap labor. It's definitely not easy to get out on your own these days. I'm 52 now and I did it when I was 19, but I don't think I could do it today, with things the way they are economically.

    Good luck to you!
    3006 days ago
    Good Blog! I think we were determined to make it on our own. We both joined the miltary. Even kids who go to college don't always make it. Some end up moving back home.

    The economy is a big factor. The jobs are not there or don't pay enough for some to live on their own.
    3006 days ago
  • WEEZIE30
    Seems like a sad state of affairs when young people aren't becoming valued members of society.
    3006 days ago
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