The Good Side of Bad - Living with Cancer
Thursday, January 28, 2010
My mom was diagnosed with metatastic adrenocarcinoma last week. On my birthday! What a day! It was devastating and caused so much heartache and worry. We made it through the week and visited the oncologist yesterday. The news was very bad, Stage 3 lung cancer, but in that bad news is a blessing. The doctor believes they can manage it with chemo and medication. It was such a relief! A month ago, you would have never found my mom and I high-fiving in the kitchen because she had Stage 3 cancer! Heavens how things change in such a short time.
What I have found through all this is how much I am loved and how many true-blue friends I have. These are the ones who walk in when everybody else is walking out. My family is scattered all over the country, but it is amazing to know how close we all are. I have such a great support system to lean on and with the red-alert message, they all roared into action. We are so blessed. I know that through all this, I am not alone. No way will my friends and family let that happen. Plus we have tapped into an absolutely amazing healthcare network. I appreciate every bit of it and thank God that we have superb healthcare and long-term care insurance.
I am also leaning on Spark hard. The only way through this is to take care of myself. I'm doing this by tracking all my food; I need to eat enough of the right things even when I am so depressed and crying. Plus I need to make sure my stress and emotional eating aren't taking over. I'm also walking an hour a day; 30 minutes is enough to break the stress and 60 minutes is enough to get me totally out of thinking for a little while. I am also telling anybody who will listen everything that is going on. There is so much support and so many stories; I had no idea until bringing up the topic of my mom being sick. And I am fast tracking my grief. No way am I letting any of it well up. I am blasting through these emotions head on. If I feel bad, I just let those sad tears flow, the anger well up, the fear take over, and wallow in my regret. By doing that, I am finding ways to let it go. Because I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to spend with my mom. I want to make sure there is enough time for the good, without being buried in the bad.
Living with cancer. There it is.
Thank you so much to all my spark friends! You all got me through so much this week. Just knowing there are people who are caring and praying for me meant so much. Many times I was reading your well wishes and messages through tears. That is helping me get through this. Thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. I am on the mend!