Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Ok so I woke up this morning kinda blah. Just had so much in my head and couldn't articulate any of it. I have been missing Chris a lot lately. For those who don't know I am a dispacther for the highway patrol in Arizona. One of best friends Chris was killed in the line of duty a little over a month ago. I was working and there was a pursuit and thru no fault of anynones he was hit by another car while deploying stop sticks. He was killed instantly and I had to keep on working all the while in shock over losing someone so close to me. I have some days that are really for me and then there are other days ..well like today. I as thinking of him a lot last night and when I woke up this morning I was just blah. I forced myself to the gym and while I didn't do the hard core workout I have been doing these last 2 weeks I did do something. I just get mad at myself for not pushing thru it and hitting the hour cardio mark I have been doing. Look at that! I could get my feelings out in words :) emoticon
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    So sorry for your loss, When nothing else seems to help often doing exactly what you did (writing it out) does relieve some of the stress , the hurt and the grief. I lost my mother last Feb 13 and though the body must go on with the daily routines while the heart aches and the numbness fills your soul, physical exercise at least tires your body out and writing your feelings brings peace to your mind so you can sleep well and recooperate.The pain will go and the good memories will stay, it just takes time . Keep doing what you are doing and THANK YOU for being the dispatcher on the other end of the line, it is a difficult job. emoticon
    4097 days ago
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