Monday, January 25, 2010
So, honesty is the best policy right? Okay then, here goes...
I am up 6.6 pounds from last week.
That's a gain of almost a pound a day.
On an intellectual, scientific level, I know that I did not consume the extra 23,100 calories that would cause that sort of weight gain, but that doesn't mean that I'm not upset and disappointed.
I've never been one to experience large weight fluctuations due to water retention, TOTM, etc. This leads me to believe that part of this weigh gain is for real and that the entirety of it cannot simply be explained away as "water weight."
I cannot in good conscience keep up my "90 lbs lost with SP" avatar. I had to take it down and put up another picture instead.
I could've focused on the food I was eating this past few days and made good choices. Instead, I ate and drank without consideration.
I feel bad for the people that I've let down. I feel bad for my team members in the Biggest Loser Challenge; they're working hard to lose weight and I feel like my gain negates their efforts. I feel like I've let me husband down; he's been so supportive of me. One woman at work told me I was inspiring her; I feel like I've let her down, too.
I shouldn't have had anything called a bacon-maple-peanut-butter cupcake.
I shouldn't have had a burger and fries from McDonald's, either.
Beating myself up isn't going to be really helpful. What's done is done. I can't go back in the past and change my choices.
I've been stuck on a plateau for almost two months now and it's time to change that. Plateaus are your bodies way of saying that what you're doing isn't working any more.
Even though I hate doing it, I need to continue to exercise.
I read a blog from someone here on SP (Can't remember her name) and she said that she was going to "focus on the process" of losing weight instead of the numbers. I'm going to try this, too. For the next 4 weeks, my husband will enter in my numbers for the BLC, but I won't be changing my weight tracker. If, at the end of four weeks, I haven't lost anything I will go see my doctor.
I haven't been using my weight and fitness trackers very well. I will start using them every day.
This is a set-back. No doubt about that. However, I struggle with an "all or nothing" mentality. I am going to try very hard to not let this be the thing that completely derails me.
I will not hyper focus on either the journey or the destination. Rather, I will realize that both are important and deserve my time and attention.
I am better than these damn 6.6 pounds!!