#204: Disgust In Margaritaville

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm a pretty positive person. Even in the midst of stressful situations I try to find the good in what is going on around me. I'm also a pretty mellow person. I don't care, for example, if the sheets match the pillowcases or if the towels match the wash cloths. Such trivialities are unimportant to me. I'm also pretty slow to anger.

Except in situations like tonight.

I was to meet a friend of the family for dinner at Perkins, one of our favorite restaurants. A major reason we meet there so often is because of the staff that we have become friends with and with whom we enjoy talking about their school courses, a broken down car they laugh about, and about their relationships with the boyfriend of the moment or the husband.

Tonight, as we approached the restaurant, one of the waitresses was arguing with her husband in the parking lot. Not the first such altercation. In fact, she's about ready to divorce him, no longer able to handle his verbal abuse and neglect.

I should mention that both my friend and I are former law enforcement officers and two men who believe deeply that women should be treated like ladies, not as verbal abuse targets or physical punching bags.

We each sensed an unspoken understanding that, whether she wanted us to or not, we were going to intervene, and we did, telling him in no uncertain terms that his behavior toward her was to stop immediately. He began to argue that she was HIS wife and he could treat her as he wanted.

That was the wrong thing to say to two guys who would have taken pleasure at that moment in hurting him. He was made to clearly understand that such behavior was unacceptable and if we heard from her that he took our encounter out on her physically, that his next meal would be served behind bars.

He muttered a few choice curse words and stalked off.

The waitress (server, I know), had tears in her eyes as she thanked us and told us he was angry because she had moved out after telling him she was tired of his abuse. Good for her. No person, be they man, woman or child, deserves to be treated in such a manner. At least for the time being she will stay with a girlfriend while she decides whether or not to file for divorce.

Hers is simply one story in one town in one state in the country, the world even, where people are treated without respect and dignity by people who supposedly love them.

But it is one story that has two guardian angles watching over the situation.

Hey, Jimmy Buffet, I dig mellow Margaritaville, and am slow to anger, but not when another person is treated like dirt.

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    Coming from a family with a goodly number of cops, we would have called you and your friend avenging angels, Lou. No telling how much danger you spared her from. Someone should keep an eye out on that bully, though. He's not likely to give up that easily, and you know how quickly that kind of violence escalates. Maybe suggest the victim get some pepper spray? A taser? Something with which to defend herself should he come at her when one of you dear avenging angels is not around to protect her. One of the most empowering things a woman can do is take a self defense course. Our local sheriff's office offers a handgun safety class specifically for women and teach a lot of excellent self defense things in it. Best part is they only charge $10 for the course. Maybe there is something like that available to your friend. High five, my friend, for being who you are and doing what you do.
    4103 days ago
    You are a emoticon
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    Thank God He put you in the right place at the right time!

    4103 days ago
    Way to go guys!!! Nice to know there are other knights out there these days. I know my hubby would have done the same in a heartbeat. God bless you both!
    4103 days ago
    It is heartwarming to hear that there are people who are not afraid to get involved in the affairs of others! Too often people think or say that it's not their problem and just turn a blind eye. To hear that you are one of the few who will stand up for what you believe in gives me faith in humanity again.

    THANK YOU for intervening and moving Mr. Jerk on his way!
    4103 days ago
    Good for the shining knights in white armor! Not enough of those around anymore.
    4104 days ago
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    Add mine to the prayers for this young lady. Lou, there are not many people that would do what you did. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for you and your friend and that you are the kind of people that you are.
    4104 days ago
    Thank you for taking that step. My life would have been so very different if all of the people who saw my father being bad to my mother would have stepped in. Thank you.
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    4104 days ago
    Lou, you are a hero to women everywhere who have to put up with this. My prayers are with her. Let her know when you see her next that someone who really, really understands is praying for her as she begins her new life.

    4104 days ago
    BRAVO LOU!!!!!! Thank God for you, and for your friend. Thank God that you were bold and stood up for this woman. Thank God that her husband heeded your words, and left her alone.

    I so wish that more people would come to the defense of those who are being abused. It saddens me so deeply that so many people want to turn their heads and ignore what is going on right in front of (next door, etc.) to them. I receive calls and knocks on my door at all hours of the night when there are domestic disputes going on here, and you better believe, I am calling the number to the police department as I am headed towards the door of the people involved. I made a vow years ago that I would NEVER stand by and watch anyone being abused by someone else.

    Please, when you see this waitress, tell her that there are many people praying for her.

    Again, I say thank you, not only for going to the aid of this woman, but for posting this blog.

    God Bless You!
    4104 days ago
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