So I went to my doctor today, to discuss many a thing, as I normally do when I go. I went to discuss my foot and my medication and all, and when I was done, I went to see the nurse, because her scale goes up high enough, where my doctor's only goes to 23st (322lbs) or so.
When I stepped on the scale before Christmas, it weighed me at 189kg (although the nurse had put down 187kg) and when I stepped on this time...
Well, I was expecting to be down weight. But I've also been under the impression than the last time I was weighed, that I weighed 189kg.
So when I stepped on this time and I weighed *190kg* I pretty much almost broke down in tears. How does a person gain 3kg, I kept on asking myself, in 2 weeks?
(I know myself that it's easily done. Hell, 2 weeks in Florida and I gained almost 6kg, so I know it's more than possible, but when one is trying to diet... god knows.)
It's taken me almost 2 and a half hours to realise that it's not the end of the world. Being weighed before Christmas, I didn't even try to diet over Christmas. I ate two helpings of my Mum's home-made banoffee pie on New Year's Day. I ate a double helping of Christmas pudding with Baileys liqueur cream between Christmas and New Year. On Christmas day, I had something like six pigs in blankets, at least a double serving of turkey, six stuffing balls and a heap of honey-glazed carrots and onions.
It's entire possible that between weighing in before Christmas and starting SparkPeople, that I'd actually gained weight. More than possible: probable. The amount of sweets and shortbread and stuff we had around the house (NOT TO MENTION MUM'S CHRISTMAS CAKE, of which I'm pretty much convinced I ate at least 1/3 of) and yeah.
The only problem now is that I'm at my start weight that I've put at SparkPeople. Only it's not my starting weight. It's my weight today, it's what I weighed today in the nurse's office, asking her to read the output because I couldn't see past my stomach. It's my weight now.
And I told my Dad: "apparently I've gained 3kg since Christmas." I told my Mum the same thing, and she said: "how do you gain weight while you're trying to diet. I've heard you exercising?"
"What are you doing wrong?" Dad asked.
"I DON'T KNOW," I yelled at him, almost in tears. "IF I KNEW, I'D STOP DOING IT, AND I'D STOP GAINING WEIGHT, WOULDN'T I?"
So there it is. My big disappointment, my realisation. My panic, hopefully over.
Fingers crossed that the number on the scale IS going down. Fingers crossed that I just didn't see it go that far up in the first place.
I can totally do this.