Just can't seem to get back on track

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Since my brothers death (12/1/09) I just have been eating whatever and whenever I want. I can't control myself anymore.
On my birthday (12/30) My husband went to the doctor to get a cyst looked at and I get the call that they are admitting him. They needed to to give him masive doeses on antibictics and do surgery to remove it. He was only in for 1 day but he has had a nurse come every day to pack the wound. Also on my birthday my sister in-law( wife to the brother that just died) was rushed to the hospital. Apparently the doctor punctured her lung when he gave her a botox shot the day before. She had a stroke 11 years ago and the botox is to try to help her get some movement in her left arm again. She was diagnoised with COPD (she smokes alot since her stroke). She was told to stop smoking now.
On Jan 2 I was forced onto a new shift at work. I now work 7pm to 3:30 am. These hours SUCK! I feel so rushed to get dinner on the table so we can have a family meal together and I have to leave by 6 cause its a 40 minute drive to work. I seem to be getting enough sleep, it almost seems like I am sleeping too much. I don't have the time to do things I want to do any more. I have wed/thurs nights off. I get home about 4:30 am, no one is around of course they are all sleeping, I turn on the tv and grab something to eat. I have gained 5 pounds since the begining of December.
I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself and thought I would blog about it. Get it all off my chest and see what kind of feed back I get from my Spark friends.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know it's a rough time right now, so don't feel like you have to do it all.

    4135 days ago
  • HEALTHYMOMMY2B have certainly been through a lot recently. It is very difficult sometimes for you to find a positive in all the sadness, but there must be something and you should hold onto that. Certainly don't beat yourself up about the weight gain. You realize you need some help now, and maybe it will help get you back on track. I agree that you should try and exercise a bit to get those endorphins flowing. You should also try and establish a steady sleep schedule. If these feelings continue much longer, you might want to see/talk to someone professionally. This could spiral into a serious depression easily and no one wants that for you. Blogging like this is a huge step, so hopefully you are coming out of it on your own. Stay strong!! emoticon
    4135 days ago
    Hang in there Orange Tiger!! I know times get hard and tough, but this is a new year and we have to renew our lives and way of thinking. Your brother, I know wants you to live and enjoy what you have. U have to get yourself into to gear for you and your family. U are an awesome person and a strong Tiger to have hanged in there as far as you have....I am so proud of you. Do not worry about those little pounds you will be able to work them off when you get back on track. DO NOT LET YOUR SITUATION DEFEAT YOU; TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR SITUATION!! OWN IT AND MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU!! YOU CAN DO IT ORANGE TIGER...LOVE U BUNCHES:) STAY STRONG MY ORANGE TIGER!!
    4135 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4087791

    Hope things get better soon!
    4135 days ago
    I am so sorry for all the struggles you have been going through. I have been there with the eating alot and sleeping a ton. You need to tune into your body and see if this may be the onset of depression from all that you have been going through. It happens to a lot of people. Sometimes just getting a little extra exercise in helps. Find ways to make yourself feel better that aren't eating. Find things you enjoy and focus on those. Find support.
    4135 days ago
    With so many life changes all at once there is bound to be an adjustment period. Remember to love yourself first and try to dwell on what you have rather than what you are without. Time heals but it's up to us to use our time wisely. I hope things turn around for you soon.
    4136 days ago
    Oh poor you... you should be feeling sorry for yourself right now... but don't let it go on too long! You've had a lot happen in a short period of time and you need to allow yourself some time to work things through but feeling good about yourself will make you stronger to deal with the heartache. I lost 2 brothers in 6 months apart and then my grandfather a year later who was very special to me so I kind of know what you are going through. Keep your chin up and things will work out... Food is not the answer! Keeping up your spirits is... Take care... we are all here for you! emoticon
    4136 days ago
  • KARENE10
    It sounds like you have been having a really bad couple months~ I think that most people would have fallen off of their "diet" under these circumstances. Just remember that things will get better and that eating bad or not exercising is not going to change the bad things that have happened.I realize that the shift change makes it hard to find time to exercise BUT you can do it. Prepare your meals and snacks ahead of time,find a time that you can work out and just do it. You are worth it! This IS something you can control even if you can't control other things. If you need me to pray I'm here for you :)
    4136 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death and all the other illnesses/life changes going on for you.

    You obviously have a lot on your plate right now. What would you tell a good friend if they were going through this same thing? Give yourself the same love (or more!) that you'd share with others.

    Take care and know that we are all here for you.

    4136 days ago
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