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Now Skeeter, be nice! Part 1

Monday, January 11, 2010

How to report on the outlaws and not get into trouble,just don't let them read it!
I'm sure we all have some relatives we would just as soon forget about. I shall tell you about a few. My MIL was one of 5 girls and 1 boy in her family
My MIL was a very neat,clean,orderly lady. That could not be said of one of her sisters. She often said she told her she would hate to see her house if and when she got married. Well we lived that prophecy. Those were the days when chickens and ducks roamed freely around their yard and porch. I think you get the idea. After we married we went there probably 3 times. They had a heart of gold, very active in their church always willing to help out a neighbor in need and teetotalers. Besides farming Uncle H also was into electronics and GLBH can remember, at a very young age, was ushered to his half converted shop and old hog house to see what he claimed was a picture called TV that he had built. She had never heard of TV's before that. This reminds me of another time when Uncle H's pickup-service truck would not start on a very cold morning, had it parked inside an old garage and decided to build a fire under the engine, fire got too hot and the dripping oil leaks from the engine caught the whole truck on fire. The good news was only one-half the shed burnt, you can guess the rest.
The only story I know about Aunt F happened while she was washing clothes, she was a very large women and they had to feed the clothes into the wringer, I bet you are already getting ahead of the story, did I mention she was a VERY LARGE WOMEN, That's probably where they got the Ole saying" don't ever get your ----- caught in a wringer" came from! This was probable the forunner to Mammogram's. This story was told to me by GLBH' s cousin Don's Wife Jan 11th. 2010, have to give credit where credit is due. We were married in 1958 and could not afford a TV. He had a like new one he wanted us to have for $75.00 and to pay whenever we could. Found out a few years ago it was not just a Relatives discount but he was this way with everyone, very generous, didn't worry about collecting especially from the poor and old.
They had two daughters one Son, asked the S about going to High School, said he quit. went from a 1 room school house and had too much trouble knowing where and when to go. Nice guy, just like his folks, always held an honest job until his health failed and is in a nursing home now.
Other Daughter is real nice, 1st. H worked for the R/R and bought a farm about 40 miles from us. Since we had just started farming too we went to visit them one spring. Cousin Marge said Jack was down the lane plowing up some pasture so could drive out with car and let him know he had company. The farm was very hilly, unlike my own, and as I reached the top of a hill I could see smoke, the tractor had got itself stuck on a very steep hill and the gas was running out the tank back onto the hot manifold and tractor was a burnnin. I excitedly said get in, I'll take you up to call the fireman. He said. "let the ---- thing burn" I've had nothing but trouble this spring with that JD. He calmly watched as the tires became engulfed good then said let's go now. In retrospect, he was right, no way could we have gotten the FD there soon enough. He was a very good man and provider, but died way too young.
The older cousin was like her M and D, real big heart. Had 3 K's. The one Boy was into auto reclamation business after dark. My FIL was a 4-H leader for many years and once took the club to visit the County Jail, and remarked he sure hoped Gary didn't recognise him. Don't know where he is today, all I know is the GLBH hopes he doesn't look her up.
Another girl was married to what I'll call the "mountain man", always dressed in CarHart coveralls, winter and summer, using a cane. They lived about 5 miles from us so would see them at school events and up town. I always spoke but for some reason GLBH was always looking the other way. Their farmett looked just like their G an G's, they would have been soo proud. they had a few added things like hand made signs along road and up their driveway like "If you step on this property you will be shot" , this was one of the nicer ones.
My # 2 S is a landscaper and did a job directly across from them. This elderly couple moved out from Chicago to get away from the gangs and guns. First night they were there was out side after dark doing some last minute unpacking when he heard gun shots ringing over the house, thought the gang had followed him out here, called the cops, went to see "mountain man" and was told their garage light was too bright and shinning on them, this is a distance of over 700 ft. Cops said they had been called their many times. They finally moved out of the area and have not been able to find out where the are, I'm sure the GLBH will want to go visit "family". My BIL always reminds me you can pick your friends but you have to tolerate your relatives!
A few years ago I did see "mountain man" in town without his cane. A neighbor said he finally got his insurance settlement from a work related incident.
Every time I mention some of her fascinating relatives my GLBH reminds me all mine are in the nut house! Now that's not completely true, just one was and besides today we would call it Alzheimer's. She's soo hard to get ahead of.
All for tonight, Part #2 another time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PICKIE98
    I think we are related.. your family sounds like royalty compared to mine,, nobody believes MY stories..
    You and your dear wife are blessed to get each other, instead of your siblings,eh??
    Rural relatives...
    3060 days ago
  • ANNE403
    What funny story & as always you do a great job! I love the humor you make in every thing you do or say! As always your Sis is very proud of you. Love you & Keep up with the stories! Anne emoticon
    3077 days ago
    skeeter, what an awesome story teller you are. I felt like I was right there when the tractor burned and the shed lit up, etc.... emoticon
    3079 days ago
    Wow! I thought my relatives were nuts - your may beat them out but I have friends who are nutter than ours put together.

    Have a blessed day and thanks for the BLOG. Look forward to Part II.
    3079 days ago
    Lol - you have to see the humor or these people will drive you nuts, haha. I'm not married, but my bf and I live together, so I see his fam all the time. If I get frustrated by them, I think, If this were on a sitcom, would I be laughing? Answer is usually yes, so I laugh.

    It's great you're writing this stuff down though! It's very interesting to read. Guess that makes me nosey!
    3079 days ago
    Your stories are great.

    Guns are pretty common around here too. We had the principal of one of the local schools get into trouble a few years back for shooting a squirrel that was damaging a light on school grounds. Country living is different from city living. It was a city person who turned him in. No one else thought a thing of it.
    3080 days ago
    Skeeter, be happy that those are your in-laws. My Dad has the family farm, and most of the tractors there are ones that his Dad (Grandpa) used. The water in from the tap is not drinkable, so water has to be carried into the house by bucket for drinking & cooking purposes. The toilet works when it wants to; thank God the outhouse hasn't fallen down, yet. Oh and I have lost track of the # of undrivable trucks, cars, & tractors on the farm, for spare parts.

    My sister in her mid-20's lives @ home with my parents & even though she has a 40+ hour/week job in a town near-by as a vet tech, she spends a lot of time helping Dad take care of the animals & crops. Mom, bless her soul, creates tasty dishes from just about any combination of leftovers, the vegies & fruits that are in season, and simple ingredients, aka-the "scratch," that I haven't been able to find in any store since I left home.

    Although I can't say much better for myself when I lived out on the farm. When the guys would ask me for a date, in junior high, I'd tell them that if the dog let them get to the house, Dad would meet them with a shot gun.

    Well some of those same guys' truck broke down near our farm, several years later, while we were in high school. Dad & my brother saw them walking across the pasture and picked them up. They, the boys, were cutting across the pasture and a field to take a "short cut" to our house to call for help. Dad told them that would probably not be that short of a route, as they would have to cross or go around at least 3 sloughs.

    Dad gave them a ride back to the farm, where they heard the dog barking fiercely. My brother told them to stay on the tractor until the dog got chained up or he-dog would probably attack them. Anyway one of their fathers came out to help them fix their truck. They found out that my Dad was a teddy bear, but the dog was more like a mother grizzly protecting her cubs. (The thing is when they asked me about dating, we had a dog that would love on anyone, but I think Dad would have throw a fit about me being too young to date.)

    3080 days ago
    emoticon emoticon What a night time story! I could sit here and read you tales all night! emoticon Love it! Are you sure you don't write for the locals up there? you really should! I sat here and busted out laughing!

    Thanks my friend! A Great ending to a Great day!

    Have a wonderful night and a better tomorrow!

    emoticon emoticon
    3080 days ago
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