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Learning to fly

Thursday, January 07, 2010

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go.
Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!

This quote arrived in my inbox today as part of an e-mail from an old friend. No reason, just turned up, but the timing was perfect. As some of you may know, I spent last spring learning to be a COPE director despite my horrible fear of falling a.k.a. fear of heights. It was a very painful experience for me, and I learned a lot about myself. Mostly, I learned that I fear losing control which has wreaked havoc with my life. And then the quote...

Last night while hiking around the rock faces that I've climbed and rappeled off of (each time fearing for my life), I had this thought...what would life be like if I allowed myself to lose control, to hold no excuses, no holds barred and walk forward. I broke out in a cold sweat. What, truly, would this be like?? I shudder to discover the answer. Why? I think because I have held myself back for so long, I fear finding my full potential. I've conquered many demons, changed my ways in many, many areas, but still I hold on with great stubborness to that thing called control. And then the quote...

If I truly believe fully in God and truly believe fully that I am exactly where I am intended to be, then why the fear of losing control? The reality is, I never had control in the first place. A mere puppet on God's string with free will attached.

Time to buck up. Time to move on. Time to follow my gut and quit making excuses. I've got the strength, the stamina, the determination and the drive, now all I need is the guts. I CAN AND WILL DO THIS. I will conquer the fear of losing control, and I WILL learn to fly even if it means that I must let go of control. After all, I've many who have promised to catch me if I fall. I'm already well blessed.

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