a frustrated, upset dianemary (injuries & why i have to postpone clx) =(

Saturday, January 02, 2010

WARINING: big vent coming on...

so here i was for weeks all completely stoked on beginning round 3 of chalean extreme on 1.3.10...i couldn't wait!!! i knew it would get my body looking great and strong...

through december i had shoulder pain and such, i went easy with the lifting so i'd be okay and good as new to begin chalean extreme tomorrow...i listened to my body and was doing light and moderate exercise for the past week or so to give my body a break.

well apparently, that wasn't good enough emoticon emoticon emoticon

i was focusing more on my lower body since i couldn't do upper, and yet somehow i wound up hurting that too. grrr

here is the list, amplied named "diane's problems" as given to me by my chiropractor when i asked to write down everything that is wrong with my body right now, of the which does not
even include pain i'm feeling with the cold & fibromyalgia...i will nickname this list "FML"
-pectoralis spasming (both sides)
-bicep spasming (left side)
-supraspinat/infraspinatus inequality (rotator cuff spasming)
-fibular head malpositioned
-foot numbness due to more proximal malposition in leg

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

am i pissed? YES am i infuriated? YES am i depressed? YES

right now, i feel like a completely worthless, useless piece of crap excuse for a human body...and if you are going to comment saying how much worse people have it- please, spare me that, don't want to hear it.

but really..i exercise regularly..ALWAYS warm up, cool down and stretch, take one day rest at least a week..and then all this is happening.

i really, truly, honestly thought all my shoulder/pec pain would be gone by now...the doctor said (well more like begged and argued with my stubborn blonde butt) that i need to rest them at least another week and from there, God willing, i should be able to start lifting again emoticon

i really love weight lifting..i can't explain it..the feeling i get of strength and power after an amazing strength training workout..plus what it does for me mentally how happy and in a good mood it makes me...and let's not forget how lifting regular helps tone these stupid fat sausages attached to my shoulders..i hate my arms, i despise my arms..i think they are huge and squishy and gross, it's a rareity i feel confident enough to go out in tank tops because of how much i loathe them...lifting weights, and especially after my last round of chalean extreme began me starting to have peace with my arms and notice their shape...
now that i haven't lifted in almost 2 weeks really and worse that i have to wait another week, i swear i don't see as much muscle tone, they feel and look jiggly, wobbly, gross and disgusting again. i could cry...
okay so maybe i've been crying emoticon

it's just, wanting to work out SO BAD..i mean the dedication i have, i wake up at 4:30am if i have to squeeze a workout in, i never make excuses, and practically never miss a workout unless there's severe pain like this...but it's like when my mind SO BADLY wants to do something and give it 100% and i am physically unable to, plus the added insecurities of how terrible i look, it takes such a huge toll on me mentally..i feel very, very down & depressed right now, more then i can explain.

i can't really do cardio either at this point because of the lower body hurting too..like i said, i'm useless..i felt my calves hurting after i tried a sprinting/running game on the wii fit the other day...i ignored it the 1st day thinking it was "muscle soreness" since i am not a runner but then the second day it got even worse and i was limping..the chiropractor office was closed so i took it easy...went in today, complained about my calf pain, the doctor (btw i work at the office part time...thank god for free adjustments!) and the doctor told me about the fibular head..basically there are 2 bones between you knee and ankle: a thicker bone & a thinner bone...well, somehow i managed to pop the thinner bone out of place!!!! emoticon ouch...many ouches..yea...so the doctor worked on me a long time (we were slow today. worked out in my benefit) and tried popping it back in place..he said hopefully if he works on it a few times it will go back and be okay...
again, like with my arms, i was threatened to stay off it and take it easy. emoticon

i know i'm whining like a little biotch, and i do apologize, but hey, my blog, my writing LoL...but no, i just can't believe this...it's 2010..i'm seeing weight loss commercials and crap nonstop for resolutions making me want to work out even more and harder then i usually do...and all i can do right now is sit on the damn couch and watch tv...really, i don't handle injuries well...i get very pessimistic and down very fast...i feel like i am never going to get the body i want

super depressed & unhappy, 2 days into the new year and miserable already...there goes my resolution of being more happy, cheery & optimistic.

i feel like i disappointed and let friends down..i had so many people ready to begin this round of chalean extreme with me...and i can't start tomorrow...praying i can begin next weekend!!!! one week delay is enough. ugh

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry to hear about all of this, Diane! I hope you heal quickly, I'm sure it stinks to not be able to workout when you want it so badly! The only suggestion I have is to really focus on your eating, so that you can still maintain your progress. Maybe stock up on some good books from the library?
    3944 days ago
    DIANE!!! I am really sorry that you are experiencing such terrible pain and muscle soreness lately! It must really put a damper on your enthusiasm... but let's keep it REAL! DIET is 80% of the weight loss equation. And you can eat a spinach salad with all of those problems that you wrote on your list!


    Hun, things will heal if you give them time too! ... and a week isn't very long at all! You need to work on your patience for change! You are so smart and you know what needs to be done to see those changed, but unfortunately things are holding you back from making all the changes at once... I think this is a blessing! Work on your diet for the next week, so that by next week when you reintroduce CLX into the mix, you'll be back on track with your eating and the other musculature changes will happen even faster!

    You are WAY too hard on your self, Girl!!!
    3944 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3375540
    Oh Diane! Sorry sorry to hear this! Take care of your body, then you can get stoked again to start CLX.

    3944 days ago
    I'm with you, it sucks big time, and putting in all that hard work. But you and I both know it was not for nothing, You are great, just a little set back, keep listing to your body it knows best

    Good luck with a quick recovery, But remember listen to your body

    3945 days ago
    OK, I'll spare you the "it could be worse" speech. emoticon

    I know that "useless" feeling. My achiles tendinits flared up for the second time just as I started the Lean phase. Talk about going from 60 to zero! No strength training, no cardio...in fact, getting from room to room was a challenge!

    Listen to your chiropractor and you'll be back on track. I KNOW it's tempting to get back to it early, but don't make a bad thing worse.
    3945 days ago
    Yup that sucks. And while you probably don't want to hear it, here is is. If you can't run, walk, if you can't lift heavy weights, lift light weights, if you can't lift light weights just do the motion and contract the muscles. Watch the diet like crazy. Your body wants and needs rest right now and as frustrated as you are, pushing it to do something it can't, will just make the recovery period longer. But you are intitled to be frustrated, because it looks like you put a lot of hard work to look as good as you do in your pictures.

    Hope your body heals soon.

    3945 days ago
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