What is going on here?!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Yesterday was a pretty positive day...and a wake up call. I weighed in (after my walk and a cup of Kashi & skim) @ 130 lb. While I may have been retaining SOME water from the sugar/salt I had on NYE...overall....I am the same I was Jan 2009. Part of me feels like I shouldn't complain and is thankful that I was able to not GAIN weight in 09; however, when your goal was to loose 10 lbs...shoot I woulda been happy w/ 5...its kind of sad. I mean there are people on here that succeed at loosing 5 lbs in a month..and I couldn't even do that in a year's time! There has to be something bigger going on here.... Maybe it's the fact that I am on the upper end of average for my weight vs. being obese that gives me a feeling of complacency? Maybe it's the fact that I love food in general and I feel like I am not willing to make certain sacrifices? Maybe it's the fact that next the the avg. person l I feel like I am healthier than others (i.e. exercise more, eat healthier things) and to me that's "good enough"? I need to flip the switch and I don't know what it's gonna take. I know it has to come from within, but WHY can't I commit? WHY do I consider myself "healthy" but I am so inconsistent and therefore not ultimately seeing results?
I just started reading "Master Your Metabolism" by Jillian Michaels yesterday and I think it will be a refreshing wake up call about all the CRAP that is in so-called healthy foods. For me, that, I think is step #1....cleaning up my "healthy" diet. I am hoping whatever changes I make will give me more energy...bc I am tired of being tired. Conditions that have been ruled out: low blood sugar, low thyroid, mild depression, Lyme disease...and I am starting to think it's what I am putting in my body. Time will tell!!
I also plan on making an appointment w/ a local nutritionist (she has her PhD...don't worry it's not some witch doctor!) to hopefully get to the bottom of what is causing my "gastritis" (I basically have burning pain in my stomach which very rarely shoots up my esophagus and goes away when laying down) which I have been battling for over 4 years. I have been to 2 GI specialists and the end result is that I need to take Prilosec daily to try to control it...NOT what I want to do :(
Because I enjoy food so much I have always focused more on the exercise side of being healthy/losing weight. Obviously it's not working for me other than to maintain. I've heard it SO many times....80% of your physique is what you eat, not how much you work out. I want this year to be the year I finally listen! I hope to really nourish my body and thus not have to kill myself at the gym and thus enjoy exercise more.
Hopefully this will be a year of positive things!! I wish you the best to have the strength and determination to make the changes in your life that will make you a happier & healthier person :)