I gained 6 pounds and some much needed perspective...

Monday, November 30, 2009

It all started with Thanksgiving - I really didn't do too bad with my choices, actually. I started my day with a walk, and "healthied up" some of the dishes we served. I enjoyed the turkey, cranberries, roasted fresh sweet potatoes, garlic mashed potatoes w/cauliflower, a little spoonful of apple stuffing, and jello salad. I said "no" completely to gravy, rolls and butter. I did indulge in a piece of apple pie for dessert later and some Chex mix while we played games, but that was about it. Overall I felt I did okay. Somehow I gained 4 pounds, which I figured must be mostly fluid retention, because I know I didn't eat an excess 14,000 calories.

Then "it" happened - a bridal shower I was throwing with my cousins on Saturday. This not only involved baking petite cheesecakes and banana bread, but worst of all there was a half sheet cake from Costco - white with strawberry mousse filling - my absolute favorite. And one thing I have discovered on this journey, I am a CAKE ADDICT and bakery cakes with butter cream frosting are my drug of choice. Very few people showed up at the shower, and there was still half the cake left, so I "volunteered" to take that home "for my family" (liar, liar, pants on fire...I wanted it for MYSELF!). As I left, I wasn't even a mile away and I started picking at it with my fingers in the car, and next thing you know I had downed a whole piece while I was driving home. Then I had another piece after I got home. And another after supper. What the heck? I really thought I was better than this by now. Sunday would surely be better.

Sunday morning my resolve lasted for exactly 30 minutes after I woke up, and then I pretty much had a repeat performance of Saturday. By Sunday night, the cake was gone - FINALLY!

Oh, I forgot to mention, I also have not had a good workout since last Wednesday.

So, this morning, the scale registered 6 pounds gained over the past week. I was firmly in One-derland, but now the scale says 201 - a number I never wanted to see again. Depressing, humbling, frustrating...I could go on. However, something good has come from this. Honesty - with myself. I cannot have cake in my house - I cannot be trusted with it. I confessed to my husband that bringing that cake home was completely selfish on my part and had nothing to do with thinking of him and my boys - it was a compulsive act made by an addict, and I completely sabotaged myself in the process.

So, lesson learned, and now I'm back on track. No shame, no guilt - I'm forgiving myself and looking forward, with a focus on making good choices. Protein, protein, protein. Fruits & veggies. Water. Working out. I know I can lose those 6 pounds again, so I'm not going to let them become a stumbling block that keeps me off the wagon, I'm going to use them as a stepping stone to get back onto the wagon and stay there.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh my..I was stopping by your page to "thank you" for your support ...I came across your blog. Now I have to THANK YOU for writing it! I can clearly see I am not alone in this weight loss battle.
    I had the same type of experience over demons were in the form of TAMALES. My Husband brought home four dozen on Christmas eve...I thought I could control myself, what a joke...I couldn't at all. I feel so bad now :(
    Anyway, thanks for your story, it's sure helps to know I am not alone. emoticon
    3373 days ago
  • 102633
    Even though you spluged and binged you have come thru it all with the right attitude. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul says, "Forgetting those things which are behind, I press on toward the mark (the goal) of the high calling..."

    Your high calling goal is to get rid of that six and then meet your ultimate weight loss goal. Along the road you will encounter these bumps in the path but you know what to do to remain healthy.

    Good for you in seeing what happened and to get back into the game as quickly as you did. HEALTHY LIVING TO YOU!!!!
    3399 days ago
    Smile! You can do it!!!
    3400 days ago
    this sounds so much like me a few months ago. desserts were my drug of choice also...hang in there. you have a great attitude about it so no doubt you will lose those six lbs & thensome. you're on your way! :)
    3400 days ago
    I know that feeling of not wanting to see 200+ It's what kept me overweight and happy at 198 for a long time. There's a lot of starting over and making small changes along the way. I know you're on your way.
    3400 days ago
    We certainly can learn a lot from the little failures - which turns them into big successes! Just taking the time to think through the events and triggers, so that you have an understanding of why it happened, and now know what to do to prevent it the next time - HUGE STEP! You go girl! We're all learning every day...and by sharing, we help each other so much.

    3400 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/30/2009 6:53:41 PM
    I'm sure that 6 pounds will come right back off, it's probably different things than you are used to and maybe the sodium was way higher than you think. Like you said, lesson learned for the next holiday gathering that rolls around.
    3400 days ago
    wow awesome story, you know what that is so inspirational to me, i thought i was the only one who did that. you are a overcomer , we all have a set back some where but you did the right thing you got up dusted your self off and here you go again, watch those 6 fall right off emoticon
    3400 days ago
  • FELICE73
    You can do it! This happens to everybody. I was really surprised that nobody commented on the "amount" of food I ate for Thanksgiving (it was really not much - few pieces of turkey, pickles and then a spoon each of sweet potatoes, baked corn, stuffing and cranberries. A spoon each! Who knew I could eat so little??). I sat in awe of my 14 year old nephew who had a minimum of three plates FULL of food - getting a little hefty hisself!

    I was so surprised when I had a six piece nugget that filled me up! The last fill I had really makes the difference! I still lost a pound this week.

    When you have your weakness around it is sooooo hard to be good. Now kick that 200 ville FOREVER! You will do it; I have faith in you!!
    3400 days ago
    Its okay to fall down as long as you get right back up as I know you will keep your head up and KEEP IT MOVIN!!!!

    3400 days ago
    Our minds are sneaky, aren't they? We know we shouldn't eat X food, we work hard for many days, sometimes weeks, and we're successful in staying away from it. But the moment that it shows up within arm's reach, all that self-control and hard work we've done to move away from that addicting X food goes right out the window.

    I think you did the right thing by admitting what happened, and your thought processes, to someone close to you. And it's good to hear that you were able to do it with your husband. A few weeks ago, I had a disaster with pasta -- completely selfish on my part -- and it wasn't until the next day that told My Guy that if he wants pasta in the house, that I'll still cook it, but he has to put it on the plate. Same goes with pizza. I just don't have the self-control to even come close to either one to put some on my plate.... someone else has to do it. It was a hard confession, and one I almost didn't make. But after I confessed it, I knew I could count on My Guy to help with those situations, so that I could stop failing. And it's working.

    Spark On!!
    3401 days ago
    Good for you for not beating yourself up over it. As long as we learn from our mistakes we are moving forward. This from somebody who gained 4 pounds in the last 2 days without even having cake. You are on the right track and worth all the effort it takes. Hope you have a great day. emoticon
    3401 days ago
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