Off the wagon, but waiting for the next one
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I didn't end up tracking this week, and I'm quite sure I ended up overeating. I also haven't started exercising again yet.
Two nights ago I was going to eat some chocolate even though I didn't really want any. Usually when I eat something as mood eating I think of it as being kind to myself - I'm feeling a little down, so I want a treat. I thought the issue was just getting away from thinking of food as a treat. But the other night, I had a brief flash of the thought I'm never going to have will power so I might as well eat. It wasn't as coherent as that, but it was sort of an 'I'm not good enough so I might as well eat'. It was the first time it occurred to me that it might not be as much a treat to be kind to myself but more a sort of self-imposed failure because my low mood is causing me to feel bad about myself.
So I'm still off the wagon, but I guess I'm still coming here and logging in, and now I'm thinking a bit more about mood eating too.