I can see clearly now...
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I am constantly surprised by how much of my journey to health has proven to be emotional rather than physical. It seems that every day brings a new realization about my struggles with food and weight.
Last night I went shopping for my first reward - a pair of boots for reaching my first mini goal of 10 pounds. Of course once I got into the stores I found myself shopping for all sorts of things. I found a dress that I really liked and suddenly I heard that old familiar devil on my shoulder telling me to buy it, but buy one size smaller than I currently wear. "It's good motivation to lose weight" says that little red demon. Well I am proud to say that I finally smartened up and chose not to listen to that little *@#%!
I bought the dress, but I bought the size that fits me perfectly right now. Not for when I lose 20 pounds or magically blossom into a supermodel. I have to say, this is quite a victory for me. Ever since I was old enough to earn my own money and buy my own clothes, I've been buying clothes that are too small. You would think that I would have learned my lesson before now, but for some reason I kept doing it. I wanted to believe that somehow smaller clothing would change my eating habits. Wow. What was I thinking??
The good news is that I finally clued in and realized that the stockpile of small clothes in my closet did absolutely nothing to help me lose weight. Now that I know that, I can stop doing it and get on with making the most of the way I look right now! I don't need to wait until I lose 5 pounds or 40 pounds or anything. I am a strong confident woman with a unique style. What could possibly fit me better than that?