ELVENSONG1

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Another Day

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I feel lately like I am just going through the motions. I have days that are pretty good, and I have days where I feel I am just on auto-pilot dragging through the day. I never know excatly where the change comes from. Yesterday was a good day, today I woke up in a funk and don't want to move. I know it is probably greif related. There are times when I'll be driving to or from clients and something fleeting will hit me and I'll get ckoaked up, I still for the most part feel that mom is here even though I know the reality. So, I am just putting one foot in front of the other and getting by as best as I can. There is one difference. I am keeping up with housework like never before. Maybe that is my current connection with mom. She always wanted the house to look good and was forever cleaning.
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  • DANIMITE2
    My thoughts have been with you a lot lately. I can't imagine waking up and knowing my mom is no longer on this planet to take care of me, to love me, to make me laugh, to make new memories with. I'm so terribly sad for you, but I do know that you are a strong lady. You took such good care of your Mom, and now its time to take care of you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.
    4198 days ago
  • SUETINGE
    emoticon Knowing that what you're going through is a normal part of grieving doesn't always make it any easier. Hang in there, it will get better.
    4198 days ago
  • NIGHTSKYSTAR
    First off a huge hug to you. I think what you are describing is normal for what you have been through. I know the autopilot thing. I do it alot, but for different reasons. Surround yourself with friends. Talk to Kevin as much as you can. Come here...we love you! You have been phenominal through this. Let us help YOU now!!
    4198 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4238235
    One day at a time. And it is time that it will take to feel normal again. Actually I feel when you lose someone close to you time never does heal. It just makes it less. I still can get chocked up when I think of someone I lost. And it has been probably close to ten years if not more. I have lost track of time but not the feeling of the loss.
    Hang in there however, the fog will lift that I promise! As for the house cleaning Well that is a plus!
    4199 days ago
  • ODDBODKIN
    I know what you mean, too, and though you know intellectually that it is part of the grieving process, it is still sometimes very hard. You'll start having more good days than bad, and your bad days will turn into bad moments as you learn to cope. I like CATIATM's post. I think she expressed it very well. It will take time to deal with a new reality.
    emoticon
    4199 days ago
  • ANGORA4
    I recognize this. The good news is, this is normal part of the grief process, so it is actually a good sign. And the fact that you are also having good days as well is also a good sign.

    I've lived where you are at, and all I can do is send you a big emoticon . We care.
    4199 days ago
  • DISPATCHER04
    (((hugs))) Kerry. emoticon
    4199 days ago
  • RD03875
    I can't offer any answers but I can give you cyber HUGS ((((()))))
    4199 days ago
  • COOKIEBAKERCAT
    Hi Kerry - You are going through the normal. Mom was in your life for many years, it will not change overnight. I remember the first time I had to go get something in the shed after my father died. It was long time between his death and needing something out there....but when I got in there, a feeling came over me and out of nowhere the tears flowed like a river. There will be moments of calm and moments where a thought will click and set off a flood of emotions. Go with them and do not fight or questions them. Long distance hugs, Cat =^..^= emoticon
    4199 days ago
  • DDOORN
    Of course you *know* that what you're going through is part of the grieving process and while your mother is no longer physically with you, I'm certain that she is with you spiritually and through your memories, which I hope you can appreciate and find time to even enjoy re-evoking.

    Some of my clients find it helpful to set aside time to converse with their loved one by imagining them sitting nearby and imagining how that person might respond to the thoughts and feelings you share with them.

    I SO admire the connection that you and your mother shared!

    Take gentle care of yourself...

    Don
    4199 days ago
  • CATIATM
    There's a reason that we used to formally grieve for a year, Kerry. You're going to experience each anual event without her. Random things will remind you of her and trigger all kinds of emotions. It takes time and patience. Feel what you need to feel and tell us how we can help you get through it. And enjoy those connections to your mother - whatever they are!
    4199 days ago
  • JUGE300000
    OOOoooooh. Join the club! Isn't that just the way it is? I fight the same thing all the time.

    emoticon
    4199 days ago
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