Tuesday, November 03, 2009

I am bumming today. I have not lost any weight in over 2 weeks now. I know exactly why. Two weeks in a row I had days where I ate like I wanted to. I had about 4 billion Tootsie Rolls from Halloween. My husband brought home two HUGE bags when he thought we would run out of candy for trick or treaters. I CANNOT resist sweets. I don't have them in the house normally for that reason. I am a total sugar junkie.
I've been avoiding it for the most part, but here and there, I've given in. The results are that my weight has stayed the same and it sucks! I'm pissed off at myself because I have gained and lost more than 20 lbs at least 20 times in the last 4 years! I'm NOT kidding!
I'm pissed off because I go great guns and do really good and then I have the times where I'm eating with a frenzy.
I've been walking, but not every day. I STILL haven't started strength exercises because they suck frankly and I just ignore them. Then I hate myself because I'm a failure and a loser and don't do what I'm supposed to do and have no one to blame but me.
The only thing that is different is that I'm here doing this Sparks thing. I did Weight Watchers last year out of desperation, because I had never done anything like that before. I lost 40 lbs and stopped going because I was so ashamed that I gained 2 weeks in a row when the group leader had been making a huge deal out of me losing every week. I was embarrassed. Then I promptly ate it all back on and felt too ashamed to go back. This is where I am now.
I wanted you all to think I was like the people who are so successful here. I'm not.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KATIE135
    I agree, don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there done that got the tee-shirt. I started SP several years ago joined WW during that time but I just can't get the weight off. I don't know what is different this time but I feel better and I will make it, if I keep putting one foot in front of the other each day. Small steps.

    I get my motivation from watching "The Biggest Loser" each week, if these folks can get on that treadmill each and everyday so can I. I also am reading "Lose it for Life" which had helped me a lot.

    Keep going log all your food good or bad and learn from it. I am an emotional eater so I really have to watch when I am eating and if I am even hungry.

    Keep going girlfriend!
    3124 days ago
    This has been me for the last month or so. I am not watching what I eat as much as I should. As much as I work out, I know that it comes down to nutrition.

    Head know what to do and you can do it!
    3125 days ago
    Join the club!! I did really well for 6 months, then sat on a plateau for over a year because I started eating a little more and exercising a little less, now I've gained back 10 of the lbs I lost. I've beat myself up and called myself names - did it help? no! just made me feel worse! I'm an all or nothing kind of person too - and it really is frustrating!
    Having said all that, let's get back on track - I'm on day 3 and it really is a struggle - please God let me get through a day without someone giving me one or more of those miniature chocolate bars!!LOL
    You can do it! You have a whole lot of people here who understand exactly what you're going through. Pick a challenge that appeals to you from one of your teams and let the group support you and hold you accountable.
    YOU CAN DO IT! The great thing about SP is that we are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! We are here for you. Together we can do it!

    3125 days ago
    I'd sure like to meet the person that got it right the first time. I tried more times that I even care to remember. I'm not quite sure how I got it right this time but I can be pretty sure that alot of it had to do with SP and the tools and the support that I received here.

    Try not to be so hard on yourself. If there is anything I can do to help you please let me know. I sure don't know too much but I'd be happy to support you in anyway I can.

    3125 days ago
    Encourage your husband to help you succeed. I agree with
    the other ladies...I have started and tripped and stumbled
    more times that I can count.
    Don't give up, you are worth the effort to get healthier.

    3125 days ago
    I'm not sure who you think is so successful. It isn't me. I struggle everyday to get things right. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. The main thing is that you keep trying. You need to forgive yourself for any slip ups and get back on the program. None of us are judging you, all we want to do is encourage and support you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You can do this, we can do this.

    Start small...get back to your exercise program, drink your water and smile!!!

    Good luck and remember I'm pulling for you! emoticon
    3125 days ago
    You are like the people on here who are sucessful; most people often have multiple attempts and many different set backs. I think this is my 3rd or 4th go @ SP and I am just now starting to really find my commitment.
    It sounds like you know what you need to do, and what you need to work on; just try not to be ALL or NOTHING, and dont be so hard on yourself ;)
    3125 days ago
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