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Am I always going to be reminded?

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Okay, I have a tendency to find something to obsess over. The internet was a wonderful invention for me as I have the ability to find "everything you always wanted to know about ___" (fill in the blank). If anyone saw my internet search history, they would probably wonder what kind of person they are dealing with. It's driving me nuts, along with making me feel frustrated and depressed. My weight peaked at about 270 lbs. and I'm now down to 183.8 (finally...) For the first time this week, I was able to buy a pair of jeans from the "regular people department" and not the plus size. Size 16. No W after the 16. I still am not quite believing that. I'm regaining (no pun intended) my flat butt (my sisters teased me about this relentlessly growing up). So if my butt is getting flat again, what the heck is going on with my abdomen? I expected my tummy to get flat again. Maybe not as flat as it was before I gained all my weight, but at least flatter than it is. And it's not going to get a whole lot smaller with the last 8 lbs. to lose. I guess I have a little hope that maybe my abdomen is where the remaining 8 lbs. is located, but then I will turn my attention to various other parts of my body that could use to lose a portion of those 8 lbs. When friends have asked me how I'm going to reward myself once I reach goal, I have informed them that I want to buy a pair of Victorias Secret underwear. I may have to seriously reconsider that reward. It's not looking good for the underwear (and they won't look good...) I started thinking how nice a tummy tuck would be. A few years ago, I wouldn't have even considered something like that, but now I must admit it sounds good. Realistically, I would never be able to afford that, but I decide to look into it anyway on the internet. Of course, now I want it more than ever. So I start searching about insurance paying for tummy tucks. Probably won't happen. I wonder why people who can actually afford to pay for one, get them donated to them (Kate from Jon & Kate Plus Eight comes to mind.) This is frustrating to me, but I get frustrated a lot when it comes to money and being able to afford something. So this morning I went to the store and purchased an exercise ball and some resistance bands for about $25. I realize that I could have purchased them from SparkPeople, but time was of the essence as it's an obsession right now. I'm going to try to get rid of this abdomen of mine, even though it seems obsessed with me. Hopefully it is not going to stay around to keep reminding me that I was obese. I'll remember without it. There are pictures and my medical charts whenever I go to the doctor for that. Maybe my next obsession can be how long it takes to get a diagnosis of obesity off my chart. One obsession at a time...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Don't feel like the lone ranger with the tummy. lol Maybe we should start a donation jar for our tummy tucks? I don't like to be cut on so think I will just have to keep exercising or maybe buy a girdle again (on 2nd thought--no way). We can do this. We have lost a lot of weight though you are much closer to your goal than I am. I have 20 more to go but am very proud of the 45 I have shoved out the window.
    4189 days ago
    You are not the only one to obsess and the only one to want a tummy tuck. Now that some of the weight is off, there is a part of me that really wants to get a nice flat stomach instead of the flap of skin that seems to be hanging! Hard work ahead, but I know that you and I can get the body that we want! emoticon
    4189 days ago
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