250-499 SparkPoints 284

Challenged Senior

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sometimes I just need a laugh. I thought today I'd share mine with you!

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for four years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for a good laugh Missy. I needed a good one before bed tonight.
    good night, and sleep well dear sister. emoticon
    4275 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5468515
    4297 days ago
    Yup that about sums it up for our Society today. I will use the cell phone and I will use a GPS on long trips but Twitter and all those offshoots forget it. I signed up for Facebook only because these days that is how most family or friends pictures are shared. Geez!

    You can count me into that group of Challenged Seniors. I still have not mastered all we can do on Spark People yet.
    4297 days ago
    Missy - LOLOL!!! Loved the "bi-sacksual," too :) Count me in as a challenged senior. I don't even have a Facebook account - gasp! I don't go there because between all the other stuff, I'm enough of a dizzy ol' ditz. Loved this...and definitely can relate! Thanks for posting it :) - Susan
    4297 days ago
    Tooo funny...yeah esp the Twitter part...
    4297 days ago
  • SJG1953
    Everyone needs a laugh once in a while! Thanks Missy for sharing!

    Hugs, Shirley
    4297 days ago
    That was quite a laugh!! Thanks!
    4297 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5594611
    That was a treat. Thank you I needed it. Hope everything goes well tomorrow.The jambalaya was great, Everyone ate it and there's plenty left for another meal.
    4297 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2702433
    LOL... took me reading this more than once to realize it wasn't you. The my wife thing was confusing me.

    4297 days ago
    emoticon I can't believe how hard I laughed while reading this. Had Ken looking at me like I had lost my mind. This was way to funny but I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
    Blessings and hugs,

    4297 days ago
    emoticon Guffaw, snort, and chuckle! Aaaah, that felt good! Thanks!
    4297 days ago
    Ah, the complexities of the modern age. Yesterday I gave a cashier three one dollar bills and a half dollar I'd received in change for a $3.49 purchase. She looked at it as if it would bit her. She kept turning it over and over until I told her it was a 50-cent piece or half-dollar. I still think she though I cheated her somehow. :) -- Lou
    4297 days ago
    That was a smile out loud. And so much I can relate to.
    Thanks for sharing it.
    4297 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Thanks, Missy!
    4297 days ago
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