A Few Friendship / Relationship Advice ;D

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ive heard plenty of people complain about how others play with their trust, about how people are hypocrites and don't do things that they 'preach'. Ive come across such people myself and have been left flabbergasted by their actions/words.
So how do we deal with such situations/people? Do we curl up in our blanket and cry about how we were cheated by those we considered 'friends' or do we just move on?? I very well know that moving on is far more easier said than done.

Am sure there are plenty of self help books dedicated to this topic. But no, I don't want to read any of those. I would like to come up with a solution(s) on my own. Am no Dr Phil and Ive no university degree in human psychology. But here are a few things Ive learnt in my short lifespan of 25 years: -

1. be careful and take your time
When we meet someone new with common interests, we get all excited! we think 'yaay!! finally Ive found someone who looks at things the way i do'. Yes, you will find plenty of people around you with common interests. But are they really worth our time and effort? That my friend, only time will tell. So be careful about whom you let into your life. Try not to jump into the mess headlong. Its better to commit to things unless you really want do it (we do tend to do things just for the sake of getting along). Take your own time. Try to know the person better. And Ive felt that its better not to indulge our personal secrets / experiences until we are ready to trust the person with anything. Do I need to explain why? :)

We are polite and nice to people we just met. The other person would be doing the same thing too, right? They would be at their best to charm you/impress you. You will only figure out the character of the person when you face difficult/weird/odd situations together.

2. remember - "don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option"
My sister reminded me about this quote today. She was right. Ive been giving too much attention to someone who hardly had any time for me unless when in need. Do we need such selfish beings in our life for the sake of companionship? Nope, we don't!

3. let go
We have heard this a number of times and it absolutely works. It takes a lot of courage to let go. however, if you really mean something to the person whom you let go, am sure he/she will come back.

Friendships/relationships takes time to bloom. My best friend and I went to school together for years. But we didn't become the friends we are now, in school. We became friends through the letters we wrote when we finished school and I moved to Dubai. So be patient and give your relationship time. And please don't waste your time cribbing about people who left you for no good reason, believe me - they ain't worth it!

If you have experiences/suggestions/opinio
ns that you would like to share here, feel free! :)
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  • NEELU_1289
    thank you for all your comments!!! i get more feedback here than on my actual blog :D

    kindly check my blog
    4114 days ago
  • SAASHA17
    Hey nice blog..I totally agree..i have had my share of crap thrown at me from people i considered as friends..i try not to let people walk all over me ever again...

    4114 days ago
    4114 days ago
    Hey there...nice blog. :) I'm only slightly older than you...but I think most of what you say has merit. It took me most of my life to have the courage to let go of my father. He's still alive...but for most of my life, he's made me an option while I've made him a priority. I haven't spoken to my dad since Christmas 2008 - almost a year. Have I missed him? Not really. He is one of those guys who just takes and takes and takes and never gives. I'm tired of giving to everyone in my life and only having them take. Most of the people in my life seem to only want to talk to me or see me when they want something. So, I've decided to stop giving and giving and giving...and I've been less stressed since then. I think letting go helps to weed out those in your life that are not worth your time or effort. Those who are worth your time and effort will also make the time and effort for you! Oh, and don't feel guilty if you need to let go of someone in your family...we don't get to choose our family...and my opinion is that my "family" consists more of friends than actual family.

    Okay, I'm done being long-winded now! LOL If you ever want to talk, I'm here and will lend an ear. :)
    4114 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3139771
    I totally understand where you are coming from. I hate it when people hurt / disappoint us. I like being able to trust someone and to not always have to worry about protecting myself. I will agree with letting go, walking away, etc. It is the best advice. I have done this and when they really cared, they have returned. You are wise to be so introspective. Good things will happen for you.
    4114 days ago
  • *MADHU*
    emoticon nice blog.
    4114 days ago
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