PANDEMONIUM

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A New Goal

Monday, October 19, 2009

Ok, this is my starting point goal. I will NOT be the fat girl at Muddy Buddy in 2010. Not going to happen again! I've got a great costume idea for my team, and I am gonna have to work hard so I can look good in it ;) I don't want to be as sore afterwards either. So, I want to start training early. It's going to be hard training alone. My partner isn't into training. He is more of a just go an do it when it comes person (he's my husband, so I know this). But, I am working on him about it. I've got 9 months to get ready. I think that should be enough time, lol. And hopefully be down this 56 lbs in that time too. That would be nice.

Life lately has been turned upside down, which makes things tougher. My "best friend" has decided to judge me and make accusations which simply aren't true. She totally has no idea what is what. You see, she hasn't called me in MONTHS. No contact at all, and yet she feels that she can tell me what I have and have not been doing. She is siding with someone I haven't seen in over a year in deciding what I am and am not doing. And this is coming after a few other times like this with her. She's asked me for help, then when I do exactly what she asks, she says she never asked me, even when I can send her the emails and prove she did. Then I am told I hurt her by doing what she asked (which was helping with a challenge else where that she didn't want to do alone). And when I said I was sorry, it wasn't good enough. She had to "talk it out" for weeks. She told me I was toxic, that I brought back memories of her past and insecure feelings etc.... when all I did was start a stupid challenge for a weight loss team (on another site). I ended up leaving the site, and after this last thing (which was the 3rd time she's done things like this), I have had enough. I try to hold onto friendships, I think they are precious. But when a friend treats you like dirt for no reason, and it never stops, Then it's time to end it. So, that's what I've had to do. It's been hard. I had trusted her for YEARS, and the last year and a half she's totally turned around who she is. I don't know why. And it's not just with me, I've seen her being kind of nasty to her family also. I have never said anything, it's not my buisness. But, I do worry for her, even now. And I hope whatever is making her so miserable and acting the way she is is resolved so she can be a happier person.

So, through all of this, I have lost my support group for weight loss. And it's been so hard finding a new one that fits. I keep trying, and keep looking. But I do know that I can NOT do this alone. I've tried, and it never works. I need people around who understand the struggles, the slip ups, the need for a good kick in the butt sometimes. If I can find that, I know I can accomplish this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JODIRICHARDS
    I'm sorry for your loss of a friend. How are you going to reach your Muddy Buddy goal? May I recommend writing up a plan of action and the CCW group can help hold you accountable. Be realistic and specific, how will you train, how often? How is your calorie consumption? Are you spending time in the Word? Pick a few things at a time and as you reach those goals build momentum for the bigger goal. I'd love to help any way I can.
    4022 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/20/2009 7:09:40 AM
  • CRISTHIANE
    Hi! It's great that you're doing the Muddy Buddy! I wanted to do the Muddy Buddy race but it was too late for me to register for it in my area :(

    I feel for you and your friend situation but you're right, when a friendship becomes toxic the way it did for you, it's time to cut that person out of your life. I recently had to do that with two friends, one of 14 years and one of 12 years... it was sad but necessary.

    The best medicine is focusing on your work out and new healthy lifestyle! It's worked for me lately. Remember that you can always find a support system here! Good luck to you!!!
    4023 days ago
  • INDEJAM09
    THANKS FOR SHARING! SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD PLAN! BUT DON'T THINK OF YOURSELF AS FAT THIS IS NOT FAT WEEK OR SOMETHING READ THE BLOG!
    4023 days ago
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