Sunday, October 11, 2009
I was so excited last Monday after my first time out running. I wanted to share my excitement with a friend of mine who didn't know about SparkPeople but in doing that there was going to have to be quite a bit of explaining regarding all the details of what I've been up to these past 18 weeks. It would require "coming clean" about a lot of stuff.
Being active with SparkPeople has given me a lot of courage where coming clean is concerned. I am continually inspired by the examples of other SparkPeople. I have been able to document a lot of what I'm doing and, at the same time, share what I've learned about myself along the way. I hope there's something there from which someone else can benefit! My biggest accomplishment has been to put into words things that up until now were deep, dark, secret thoughts; I'm also taking more pictures of myself and posting some of them (photos: a huge accomplishment!!) Each time I make public something that used to be private, it's as if the issue has been pulverized, turned into powder to be blown away by the next breeze. It just doesn't seem all that important any more; it has lost any power it used to have over me.
So on Monday, filled with enthusiasm from my running experience, I laid out what I had been doing. How do you possibly explain everything in an hour?? The person I shared this with is someone that I felt I could trust to understand and support me and so I started with an overview of SparkPeople. Next, I had him read my running blog from that day and then took him for a tour of the SparkPeople site. Eventually, we got to the Fitness Maps (I really like having the ability to map out routes) and there it was, my weight. "Oh, OK", I said, "there's my weight!" And back to the tour we went.
As I suspected, my friend was supportive and encouraging. He asked a lot of questions and shared some of his own concerns about staying healthy. Later on in the day, it occurred to me that in a former life, I would have been absolutely mortified to have had my weight number pop up like that before I could do anything to hide it. I was surprised at how nonchalant I was! (yeah, like no one's noticed my weight before!!) Somehow it just didn't matter. I'm learning to stop hiding behind numbers and issues; that's why I'm always making little changes to my SparkPage to more accurately show where I've been and where I'm going.
I was thinking about how I would put this "come clean" experience into words and then I read a SparkFriend's blog. It dealt with secrets of a former life and all the wonderful changes she has experienced and it was then that I truly understood that bringing secrets into the light lessens their importance.
Coming clean has been an empowering experience for me. Any issue I've exposed has lost its grip and I'm able to keep moving forward, lighter because of the reduced baggage.
Red Bull isn't the only thing that gives you wings!