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Sunday, October 11, 2009

I was so excited last Monday after my first time out running. I wanted to share my excitement with a friend of mine who didn't know about SparkPeople but in doing that there was going to have to be quite a bit of explaining regarding all the details of what I've been up to these past 18 weeks. It would require "coming clean" about a lot of stuff.

Being active with SparkPeople has given me a lot of courage where coming clean is concerned. I am continually inspired by the examples of other SparkPeople. I have been able to document a lot of what I'm doing and, at the same time, share what I've learned about myself along the way. I hope there's something there from which someone else can benefit! My biggest accomplishment has been to put into words things that up until now were deep, dark, secret thoughts; I'm also taking more pictures of myself and posting some of them (photos: a huge accomplishment!!) Each time I make public something that used to be private, it's as if the issue has been pulverized, turned into powder to be blown away by the next breeze. It just doesn't seem all that important any more; it has lost any power it used to have over me.

So on Monday, filled with enthusiasm from my running experience, I laid out what I had been doing. How do you possibly explain everything in an hour?? The person I shared this with is someone that I felt I could trust to understand and support me and so I started with an overview of SparkPeople. Next, I had him read my running blog from that day and then took him for a tour of the SparkPeople site. Eventually, we got to the Fitness Maps (I really like having the ability to map out routes) and there it was, my weight. "Oh, OK", I said, "there's my weight!" And back to the tour we went.

As I suspected, my friend was supportive and encouraging. He asked a lot of questions and shared some of his own concerns about staying healthy. Later on in the day, it occurred to me that in a former life, I would have been absolutely mortified to have had my weight number pop up like that before I could do anything to hide it. I was surprised at how nonchalant I was! (yeah, like no one's noticed my weight before!!) Somehow it just didn't matter. I'm learning to stop hiding behind numbers and issues; that's why I'm always making little changes to my SparkPage to more accurately show where I've been and where I'm going.

I was thinking about how I would put this "come clean" experience into words and then I read a SparkFriend's blog. It dealt with secrets of a former life and all the wonderful changes she has experienced and it was then that I truly understood that bringing secrets into the light lessens their importance.

Coming clean has been an empowering experience for me. Any issue I've exposed has lost its grip and I'm able to keep moving forward, lighter because of the reduced baggage.

Red Bull isn't the only thing that gives you wings!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo HOKU-ALOHI
    You are soaring high my friend and it is so awesome to see your joys on here. I love how you are flying high and free. Empowered with coming clean about everything!
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    4103 days ago
  • KARVY09
    You've come a LONG way since I first met you in June, girl.

    One, you didn't want to post ANY photo of yourself, never mind a full body shot. Two, you just seem so much more "bubbly," as if this isn't just an experiment anymore but something a whole lot bigger.

    I wouldn't share my weight with my husband until just recently when we were watching Biggest Loser and he said "There's gotta be a point where you think, OK, my weight is a huge problem. That somewhere's probably 300 pounds, don't you think?" And I told him, "I was pretty close." His reply: "And you did something about it, and I'm proud of you. And I'd love you at 200, 300, whatever."

    A number is a number is a number. I'm sure your friend won't think any less of you knowing that number.

    Big Sparkhugs to you!
    emoticon emoticon
    4113 days ago
  • LINDA0229
    Holy cow! What incredible energy! You sound so full of life and personal power and love for the you that you are right now - not who you were yesterday - no who you'll be tomorrow - just wallowing in the moment and loving it. Truly wonderful and inspirational!

    4115 days ago
    Excellent blog. You know how I feel about shining light on the secrets that hold us captive. You won't believe how good the freedom feels! Love you, Dawn
    4115 days ago
  • LINDA!
    WOW!! This is a very inspiring blog! So glad you have let your inhibitions go....you are working to make yourself a better you. You have also been a motivator to many! emoticon
    4115 days ago
    What a great blog post today! I hope you can see from others' comments on your blog that you are not only empowering yourself, but others as well as we admire you and choose to walk in similar footsteps to yours. I hope you continue to empower yourself and others! emoticon
    4115 days ago
    Great blog. Inspiring and thought provoking
    4115 days ago
  • FLAME42
    This is aa fantastic blog. So many of us have been "hiding", like we can hide the weight. Ha. You have made great progress in you thinking and reaching your goals. Keep up with all you want to do. emoticon emoticon
    4115 days ago
    What an outstanding, inspirational, thoughtful blog! Thank you so much! I can identify with everything you are saying. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to post a link to your blog on my page today. Thanks for sharing your insights with us all, my SparkFriend! emoticon
    4115 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4515830
    emoticon emoticon
    4116 days ago
    It sounds like YOU were empowered and the secrets were disempowered. Is that right?
    4116 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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