Hoarding is still on my mind
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I wanted to deny I have a problem with hoarding.
Recently, in utter frustration with being surrounded by stuff and not having an uncluttered area in which we can entertain or prepare food without moving things around, my sweetie threatened to move into an apartment.
It wasn't a question of love, but total frustration with my accumulation of piles of stuff encroaching on living space.
I love my sweetie. I didn't make the connection that my actions were saying that my stuff was more important than my relationship. What a realization!
My denial is a big obstacle.
I don't know if any of you feel anxiety or panic at the prospect of not accumulating stuff you might need someday and dehoarding or learning how to make better choices of what to keep or let go of.
I am hanging in there and have put a stop to accumulating more by not buying anything which isn't on my list.
Went through a whirlwind weekend, but am back on track. If I don't do an average of an hour a day, I don't see progress and tend to lose momentum.
My counselor explained how important it is to dehoard (one item at a time) for one hour daily regardless of how I feel.
Facing hoarding on a daily basis is supposed to lower my level of anxiety about accumulating and about letting go of things.
I asked my counselor if hoarding ever completely goes away. He said no. Under stress, my need to feel safe using things may trigger the desire to insulate myself with stuff. Darn - I wanted guarentees.
BUT he reassured me that hoarding IS manageable.
Okay - so no magic fixes. Just apply myself daily. For today, I can do that. Today I WILL do that!