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I'm so close to my goal, but I'm still not happy with my body.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I have 18-19 pounds to go. And I still feel huge. I'm a little concerned that I'm gonna get to 120, and I'm still not gonna look like I want to. My thighs and upper arms still have a huge amount of fat on them. Seriously, my arms are like, disfigured. There's stretch marks all over them, and the skin is loose, and there's still lots of fat. My boyfriend tells me that it's not that I have MORE fat on my arms than most people, but he thinks it's just because my skin is stretched, so the skin can't hold the fat that's left up as well, so it hangs lower and looks like more. Gee, thanks. That's a MUCH better situation. At least if it's extra fat I can do something about it. I know he was trying to make me feel better about it, and that it doesn't bother him, (That man is the least superficial person I have ever met. He loved me at 120 pounds ago, and he loves me now.) but it's still embarrassing. Sigh.

I have a memory from when I was a kid. I lived with my father and stepmother for a couple of years. First off, my stepmother is insane, and just not a nice person. We didn't get along at all, so no memories of her are very happy. But she lost a lot of weight quickly back then (Not healthily. She gained it all back eventually, too), and she had a LOT of loose skin on her upper arms. And she refused to shave under her arms (She insisted that it wasn't noticeable. Oh, how wrong she was), but insisted on wearing sleeveless dresses, and her hands shook. So her arms constantly FLAPPED like wings. It was so disgusting, and so embarrassing in public.

And now I flap too! It's terrible. :(

At least I shave.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    omg I have the same problem - but I'm doing the best I can to lose weight slowly - it was at a rate of 1kg per month, now I'm smaller it's more like 1kg every two weeks, so it's picking up. My arms are toning up now, but still have a little bingo wing curve at the bottom which I don't like at all.

    I normally do this exercise where I lean backward onto the arm of a chair or sofa and point my toes forward on the floor and raise and lower using the strength of my arms.

    Dunno what it's called but it helps a lot. It's making the muscle firmer which in turn is making the arm less flabby and more defined.

    I only do it around 2 x a week for around 10-20 repetitions which isn't much at all but I see a difference.

    Also I do some push ups using my chest and arm muscles - it's slightly different from a regular push up.

    2182 days ago
  • MARISSA0512
    Congratulations on your weight loss! And don't be so hard on yourself - you look great!!! emoticon
    2870 days ago
  • LIZZYLOU1985
    Wow...you've lost more weight than you will weigh when you are at your goal weight...that's insane and amazing all at the same time! I came across your blog and found your accomplishments to be very inspiring and I wanted to thank you for sharing your story :)
    3472 days ago
    Check with your local spa to see if they have anything that they think might help. I don't know this for a fact, but a friend of mine went in for some treatment that was supposed to reduce cellulite and tighten skin. She measured herself before and after and said it worked... it's worth a try. And 18-19 pounds makes a big difference. I've lost almost 25 lbs and feel a whole lot better about the way I look, so don't get discouraged. Things may work out better than you'd expect.

    The fact that your boyfriend has stuck with you through all this (and we all know how difficult this can be at all levels) means that there is a lot more to you than just your weight or the way you look. He loves you for who you are as a person and that says mountains about you... more than any scale can ever say. Chin up! and smell the roses around you, cause they're there.
    3518 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/1/2009 11:50:10 AM
    Are you doing any strength training for your upper body?? That should help... good luck!
    3518 days ago
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