I'm back...and I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?

Monday, September 28, 2009

There isn't an excuse for what happened. It's all me. We had some technical issues (no longer have a working laptop/desktop crashed 2x), we've been traveling (Vegas, around TX), etc. Excuses but I should have found a way...

I 'let' being diagnosed with Crohn's be catastrophic to my getting healthy routine. I went into such a funk about it. It took months to get 'normal' if there's such a thing. I think I've gotten things pretty under control but there's days that just suck with pain that lands me in bed in in btwn potty breaks.

So I haven't exercised nor watched what I eat in months except for figuring out I can't have corn at all (lol) I let all the other sparkers on teams I was a part of down and I'm sorry for that.

I should have lost 50lbs by August. I've now gained back what I lost and am 13lbs above that. I should have been able to walk all over the place while in Vegas, I had my dh drop me and the kids off at the shopping places we wanted to visit. Clothes should be fitting me better, but I look like a stuffed sausage in some of them. My BP should be low but well, that could have something to do with my family driving me crazy lol ANyway, lots of should haves...but I didn't. So I felt like such a loser and what did I do? Ignored the emails from spark people and didn't come back sooner.

Yesterday I turned 40 yrs old. It's not 40 and fit or fab...it's 40 and still FAT. I have decided I'm done. Yea, I've had crappy things happen these last 6 mos but so has everyone else. I don't own the crown on 'feel sorry for me' So what am I going to do?

Ask your forgiveness in letting you down in challenges. And I'm going to FORGIVE myself for screwing up. I'm going to jump back on the wagon of getting healthier and it'll take baby steps for sure but I HAVE to do it or I'll be 40something and dead. Failure's not an option anymore. I'm not saying I won't have bad days or want to quit. That's when I'll need you the most, I need you to prod me along, nicely or not so nicely if I need that too. lol

Thank you...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BUSYMOM247
    Thanks everyone...I'm so glad I'm back!
    4039 days ago
    I agree with the others. You have to forgive yourself first. You never fail until you quit trying. Keep starting over if you have to but keep 'keeping'. You hit a huge roadblock in life but now find a way around it. We can't always go over the roadblocks. Sometimes we have actually dig a tunnel under which takes longer but you can do it. I am here for you as you have for me in the past. We can both do this together!
    4040 days ago
  • GONE2020
    Every time you come back is an opportunity to take that first step in the right direction to the rest of your life. The 40s are wonderful years ... you will become a new you and look back at them as a wonderful time in your life where you decided to take care of you. Welcome back!!
    4041 days ago
  • NEWME11
    hey don't give up keep on until you make it no matter how many times you mess up. Because ONE DAY YOU WILL MAKE IT . ONE DAY AT A TIME.
    4041 days ago
    I think that you need to forgive yourself because we have nothing to forgive. We all have our falls (just ask me) and we are here to help you get back up however many times you need to. Keep on pushing hard and you'll reach your goals!!

    Good luck!
    4041 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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